Mom Blog

Click

2012-01-28T21:16:00.000-06:00

Ha, thanks for the message from an anonymous follower of my blog ... yes, yes the Graf family is still miraculously alive and dare I say healthy?! After the 3 days worth of really really bad days, life has gotten better.

Throughout the last week in the aftermath of some bad, bad, bad (did I mention bad?!) days; I've discovered a new milestone kind of event. I like to call it the 'Click'.

If you are a parent, think of it this way. Your child is running a fever, lethargic, definitely not acting right. You explain the symptoms to the scheduler. Re-explain them to the nurse. Get the confirmation that you do indeed need to make an appointment. Haul the sick one and all the siblings into the clinic. Camp out in the segregated sick area. Endure nasty glares from the healthy kids' parents because your kids get to sit by the fish and play with the house toy. (Theda Appleton ped parents, you know what I'm talking about) Try to remember the child's birthdate as you drag 4 kids into the exam room. Strip down a squirmy child. Settle the siblings in with treats/techy gadgets/distractions. Play the 'how-many-pieces-can-I-rip-the-'protective'-exam-table-cover-into' game. Explain the symptoms to the nurse. Get an excellent cardio & strength workout by wrangling 4 kids in a 5 by 10 foot room with lots of tools they can't touch and cabinets they can't open. Finally, explain the symptoms yet again, but this time to the doctor. Then it happens. A peak in the ears, in the throat, and up the nose and whaalaa.

Click.

"Well, Mom, it looks like little Susie has an ear infection."

Click.

The universe lines up with just that one sentence. In one sentence the sleepless nights, the fever, the crabbiness, the clinginess - it all clicks. You aren't really going insane. You really aren't imaging things. You really aren't just completely overwhelmed. You aren't just neglecting the one child causing them to act out for attention. Your child is sick.

Click.

Less than a week after Addy was diagnosed with 2 ear infections we were back to the doctor for a weird cough that was keeping her up at night.

Miss Addy Paddy has added croup to her illness repertoire. With an anti inflammatory dose at the clinic, some otc meds at night, and a humidifier in her room she has started sleeping 4-5 hours at a time before waking up barking. She's as happy as can be during the day, even if her mother is more exhausted than she has ever been.

PS - It would be well worth my time and money to invest in learning how to use the special tool to examine my kids' ears for ear infections. Half the battle when dealing with sick kids is debating if/when they need to be taken into the doctor. 75% of the time when they are taken in, it usually is 'viral' and all they can do is remind you of the correct tylenol or motrin dosage & send you on your merry way.

'Just' The 6 Of Us

2012-01-20T21:11:00.001-06:00

You know if I'm blogging from my phone - we have resumed semi torrential down pour over here. (yes, it's dipping to -15-20 tonight so we are indeed still the frozen tundra).

My last post's last PSS point was at about 2:30am. Kids continued waking; some throwing up, some coughing up a lung, all needing re-doses of medicine the rest of the morning. I figured I'd call the on call pediatrician line to get the other 3 kids in for appointments. 2:40, 3, 3:20 we'd be reigning our germs all over the clinic. I never did get to go to sleep again.

What I thought were night sweats from hormones regulating back to normal after nursing a baby the last almost year; were getting really bad, accompanied by a fever, a lingering cold/cough, chills, body aches, sinus headache & a really sore chest/stomach/sides. I had an uncontrollable barking cough that kept getting worse, so I figured I'd go in for my strep culture this morning & get it over with.

For the first time since I can ever remember I was actually EXCITED to see this little friend of mine :)

I was giddy to see a major drop in my bmi number & didn't feel ashamed or embarrassed at all! After x-rays & a breathing treatment I came home with this diagnosis: pneumonia in both lungs, the left particularly congested, acute pharyngitis, 2 ear infections & a sinus infection. Thank you Lord it's treatable. Little bummed I can't continue to work on running my 10 minute mile; I'll have to be ok with walking & biking.

Thank the Lord for my mom & her help! We hauled Bren, Connor & Addy to the doctor this afternoon during the worst part of our latest snow storm. Other than being negative in the patience department & overloaded in the stress department here's the diagnosis's that we came home with:

Brennan has pink eye & the rapid strep test was negative. But since he's on an oral amoxicillin for the eye, they didn't run the extended culture for strep.

Connor: strep & an ear infection.

Addison: 2 ear infections & more than likely strep. Since she's on amoxicillin for the ears anyways, she spared us the gag inducing swab. This would explain screaming when I tried to change her diaper & how impossible she's been to get into bed lately.

So thankful for a delicious dinner made by dear friends tonight. Ella said she'd even eat the dessert without whip cream & asked if I could be sick more often!

I feel like a drug dealer. Maybe I need to look into a license to have this many 'currently taking' kind of meds on my counter, not including the 2 refrigerated bottles & my inhaler. Here's what just the 6 of us need:

It's no wonder I couldn't ever really smoke back in the rebel days! I suck at inhaling things! The inhaler works awesome, but it takes 10 minutes of mental prep to do it correctly!

It's 9pm & all my children are sleeping. I am going to try to do the same before someone wakes up!

I hope it's safe to say that tomorrow I will not need to visit any healthcare professionals ...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Racking Up The Reward Points

2012-01-19T21:35:00.000-06:00

The pouring has diminished to a light drizzle here in the extremely frozen, frost bitten tundra of northeastern Wisconsin. It currently feels like -28 outside.

Other than during pregnancies & childbirths, I've never spent as much time in the ER, hospital, doctors' office as I have this last month. I have this brilliant idea, too - don't steal it - a frequent visitor rewards system! You can get rewards for getting gas, eating sandwiches, buying clothes; why not for getting poked, prodded, diced & sliced? Every hour you spend in some sort of healthcare facility, you get a 1% discount on your total bill. So far for this year, I think we'd be pushing a good 15-20% and it's not even February.

After 2 hours of emotional/mental prep work that Ella would be ok and it was a simple check up; we were off to see the pediatrician.

She was seriously not feeling well, and her tonsils/whatever-those-hangy-things-are-in-your-throat were so swollen they were touching each other & made breathing, eating & drinking extremely painful and difficult. An easy gag reflex resulted in a lot of extra loads of laundry the past few days.

After a 15 minute trial that felt more like hours; the nurse finally pulled a blood stained cotton tipped wooden torture device/swab/having-a-brain-fart-can't-think-of-the-name-of-the-thing out of Ella's throat. Thank the Lord the nurse had far more patience than I did; as I'd have pried her mouth open & jammed it in there after about the 30th try. Pretty sure we could have possibly been the most difficult case of her day & worst ever strep culture experience. 5 minutes after the ordeal we had ...

The Cheesy fake smile genetically inherited from her one & only mother ...

No tonsillectomy needed, thank the Lord. But 10 days of 2.5tsps of amoxillicin that, as our luck would probably have, would need to be given by injection instead of gagging down the foul tasting chalky liquid. Chalk 1 up for Ella, the foul smelling, chalky liquid was actually good and her first dose was taken and hasn't made a reappearance.

I rewarded myself (and my recovering appendix-less husband) with a venti cup of liquid crack for mothers, aka a skinny peppermint moca with no whip/taste-like-butt-but-won't-appear-on-my-butt. It was the only thing that kept me from not requesting they knock her out for the strep culture (and the rest of the day). I was the 5th car in the tiny drive thru line. 20 minutes later I was the 4th car in the tiny drive thru line. About 35 minutes later I was thanking the kind barista for the free drinks and regretting not having ordered 1 of everything, no matter how non-diet friendly those to-die-for brownies are! (Starbucks, you rock!)

Off to get the prescription before heading home. The pharmacist laughed and greeted me by name. (Yes, that frequent visitor program would be profitable for Walgreens, too!) Turns out, despite my 45 minute lapse between leaving the clinic and pulling up to his drive up window; the amoxicillin was not ready. Of course it wasn't, but hey no one hit me in the parking lot, so thank the Lord! I took my contagious daughter into Walgreens (sorry all you other sick people sharing Lord knows what other kind of germs, just wanted to round out the germ pool so fellow shoppers & employees would build up a strong immunity to strep, too) We grabbed replacement toothbrushes as well as chewable Motrin that I just knew would grace my floor in liquid half digested purple mess in a few hours. (I could at least hope it hit tile and not the carpet or bedding)

Soon we were home and I was praying that the free Starbucks had turned my day around. Praise the Lord, Ella took her first full dose and I have yet to see it, or any half digested purple messes. Tomorrow, I am sure the boys & I will be revisiting the clinic; thankfully they are manly boys and will require a 15 second swab as opposed to the 15 hour version. I wonder if my pharmacist friend has Fridays off?

PS: 2 hours after writing this post I pulled an Olympic Mom Record of a 7 minute puke clean up in aisle 'Brennan's bed'. I wish I had the 'scale 14 steps' record to have prevented the bed bomb, but I have to work on that. Not even hitting my first running 10 minute mile prepped me for the 10:45 wake up call & flight scaling! Off to the doctor we go again tomorrow! Shhh don't tell my husband my secret daily Starbucks treat scheme, only 2 kids/days left! :)

PSS: 4 hours after writing this Addy & Connor have also had issues. After a call to the nurse line & a little rule bending, I have an assembly line style appointment set up to get 3 cultures done tomorrow. Thankful for the extra refrigerator in the basement, as we'll need at least 1, if not 2, shelves dedicated to amoxicillin bottles at this rate.

Thank You Lord ... even for this

2012-01-18T23:28:00.000-06:00

'When it rains it pours' is quite the understatement for the kind of day that the Graf house just had. I'll save you the super long drawn out version and chronologically bullet point it out for you.

- Jacob was sick all night last night

A funny text from my husband after talking with ThedaCare nurse direct line

- Jacob went to the doctor this morning
- Jacob was sent to the hospital to get an emergency appendectomy

I felt bad for the nurse who had to shave his very ticklish belly

- Before they took him back the nurse thought they were removing his gallbladder, we corrected her.

"I'm too sexy for my hospital gown" payback from a few hospital pics he's nabbed of me

- A very caring friend drove his car back from the hospital so we weren't stuck with 2 cars and was hit in the parking lot.

Little dinged up

- Surgery went great and we were home within 2 hours of the appendix being removed
- There was a little laptop mishap
- There was a miscommunication between my daughter's teacher & myself. She was told her grandparents would pick her up. She should have been told to ride the bus home. She waited nearly 1/2 hour outside on the coldest day so far in WI (felt like -6 or something like that). No one helped her or told her to go inside.
- She threw up outside of school.
- Kids & 2 adults made fun of her while she was sick and crying outside at school.
- A friend seen her and kindly picked her up and brought her home for me.
- There was a gluten issue with Jacob's prescribed medication so I had to wait extra long.
- The lady who caused the accident is disputing it.
- Ella doesn't want to go back to school and is so worked up she is throwing up.

Ella finally resting on the couch

I don't need to write these things down for my own sake. There's no way I will ever forget hearing my daughter's crackly, tear filled voice over the phone wondering where her grandparents were. There's no way I will forget kissing my husband one last time before being wheeled off to surgery. No matter how routine a surgery is, that's not an easy thing to do. I will not forget standing in WalGreens wanting to reach through the phone and punch the insurance guy who assured me it wasn't his insuree's fault. I will never forget holding my daughter's hand as her voice shaked and tears streamed down her face as she recounted her horrible ordeal and how kids called her fat puker and adults stared and never helped her. I won't forget sitting in my bathroom with the lights off sobbing asking the Lord, why about 500 times. Why are kids so mean, why are adults just as mean, why all this in one day, why, why ... you get the hint.

Thank the Lord my husband is resting well and alive. Thank the Lord that a friend seen Ella and went out of her way to help her. Thank the Lord that a car is fixable and for friends willing to help out however needed. Thank the Lord that my daughter is home safe. Thank the Lord for all the caring family and friends who have helped out, prayed for, checked in on, and cared about us through out the past day. Thank the Lord we are all home together. Thank the Lord.

for my family.

I was bored and sick of trying to text/talk on my phone within the short space my charger cord allowed. Amazing how fast the battery gets sucked up when trying to relay news to everyone and their mother. Thank you Lord I remembered my charger. I flipped open my Bible to this:

1 Thessalonians 5:14-18

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁴ And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. ¹⁵ Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Thank you Lord!

I Survived!

2012-01-14T21:37:00.000-06:00

No worries blog world, I did survive the over night stay with 4 small children & a husband! The Wilderness was a ton of fun for all of the kids - Ella, my jumpy scaredy-cat, went down as many slides as she possibly could. She slept the entire 2+ hour trip home right through a gas stop and an Addy crying episode. I was quite surprised that Bren didn't want to join her on the slides. He does have this pretty hilarious 'afraid face' that somehow has escaped the camera. Being that it was a waterpark, we didn't get very many pictures of the actual water fun. One of the funniest things was that every time Connor put on his suit he needed to announce very loud, "I peed on those shorts." Oh my word, as funny as it was; that got old (and yes, I did wash them before we left). Definitely a fun trip for the kiddos - lots of work for mom & dad, but so worth it we are thinking of making it a winter tradition.

All 4 kids ready to hit the water park for the first time.

I felt guilty giving the kids mini corn dogs, chicken tenders & french fries for dinner, but they thought it was pretty cool.

Roo ohhhh ... Mom forgot to pack toys so the diaper bag had to suffice

Addy sleeping on the way home ... first time in 24 hours that she slept without being attached

Addy & Connor had a blast in the little kids play land, she liked this giant cobra thingy.

Lots of fun tunnels to crawl through

The ride was a little over 2 hours, after a long 2 hours we look back to see Bren faking sleeping. We were on HWY 41, 2 exits from home ...

Connor hitting the mini slides

It was fun to look out the windows at all the snow and splashing in the water.

We passed through a bunch of windmills and this was a hit on the way there.

Kitchen Sink & Then Some

2012-01-12T23:32:00.000-06:00

Typically, when going on a trip (even if it is just a day trip) I make a 737's cargo holder look like a light load. I definitely include the kitchen sink along with a few extra changes of clothes, pajamas, outer wear, and everything and anything we might possibly need.

Usually I pack in 'worst case scenario' mode. My fellow moms are so nodding their heads in agreement. The self conversation goes something like this:

"Kid A will definitely have an accident, even though s/he has been potty trained for 4 years, while we are away. 3 extra pairs of underwear will suffice."
"Kid B gets hot at night, so I need a few options for pajamas depending on how hot the hotel room will be."
"Kid C is a picky eater, so I better pack 500 snack options for him/her."
"Kid D likes to dress in layers, so I need to pack about 9 times the normal amount of clothes for her."

Sometimes my conversations are laced with algebra, the only form of math I can barely tolerate.
"If Kid A has X than Kids B,C, & D will need X*2."
"If Kid A has XX than Kid B needs X-1, Kid C needs X+2, and Kid needs X+3."
"If Kid D has Y then Kid B needs X, Kid C needs W, kid A needs Y+X+W.

Think I am joking? I may be exaggerating it a bit, but if you've ever packed for an over night stay; you know what I'm talking about.

I am excited to escape with my husband and 4 of my favorite short people for a night. However, I know how much work 4 kids (and a husband) are in my own home where I have totally customized the entire place. 2 queen beds and a pull out sofa in a 20 by 20 room will either be the death of me or hold memories that will last a lifetime. Hoping for the latter!

In case I never post again; be forewarned! An over night stay at an indoor water park with a snoring husband, a 6 year old, a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a 10 month old might just be the end of my sanity. For my fellow algebra tolerating friends it looks something like this: H+E+B+C+A=L^6 gone crazy!

Tonight is a first for me, though. I packed 2 whole bags in best case scenario mode! My self conversation probably wasn't the most appropriate to post, but I'll humor you with the most blog friendly thoughts...

"If Kid A craps his suit, we'll never forget the floater that cleared the pool. (gee, I better get a waterproof camera so I can be sure to capture all these memories)"
"If Kid B doesn't like the food, I am sure the amount of water (full of Lord knows what) he'll drink will fill him up."
"If Kid A has a blue towel and Kid B has a red towel and Kid C has a orange towel: too darn bad. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." (thank you Ella's kindergarten teacher for my new favorite phrase)

Happy weekend blog world. Please check in on me in a few days to see if I survived!

I don't hate many things, except ....

2012-01-05T22:56:00.000-06:00

Because going out to eat is like a game of Russian Roulette. Because I even have to double check all chap sticks, make ups, shampoos in addition to each and every single piece of food. Because it's not just a fad diet. Because it makes my husband miserably sick.

I. HATE. GLUTEN.

Don't know about gluten? Well, I am jealous. I wish I never heard of the 'g' word. Here's my lisa-pedia version of what gluten is. It is the sticky stuff (a protein composite) that is found in wheat, barley & rye that helps hold food together. Wikipedia has a little more in depth description. Whether you are avoiding gluten because you've jumped on the fad diet bandwago, whether you are the supportive family member of a celiac, whether you are doing it to control your celiac disease, or whether you are doing it to help ADD, ADHD, Autism and other 'disorders' - we are all in the same boat.

We have to read the ingredient list for each and every thing that enters our mouthes or our homes. We have to bother the wait staff for a gluten free menu. We have to cringe when they assure us that, "everything can be made gluten free." We have to request ingredient lists from generous friends & family members who graciously host us for a meal. We have to deal with physical reactions that are painful to the body as well as to the noses and ears within the general vicinity. We have to deal with getting 'scoped' from both ends annually.

No seriously. Think about it. Think of what you ate for breakfast. Pancakes? Nope. French toast? Nope. Waffles? Nope. Cereal? Not unless it was Chex. Think of what you ate for lunch. A sandwich? Gluten free bread leaves a lot to be desired and it's much easier/gag-preventative to skip the bread all together. Want a snack? Pretzels, nope. Chips, better check the seasoning. Cookie, oh heck no. Cake, not unless it's gluten free. Fruit - yes. Veggies - yes. What's for dinner? Breadstick with your spaghetti? Nope. Oh wait, you wanted spaghetti noodles with your spaghetti? Not unless they are rice or corn based noodles. Nothing in your house? Want to grab a burger? Not unless it's bun-less. How about thinking outside the bun & going for a taco? Not with a flour tortilla. French fries? As long as they aren't fried in the same frier chicken patties, or other breaded things are fried in and not fried in msg, so nope! Order a pizza? Glass Nickel is the only delivery in our area for gluten free pizza, bummer it's also the most expensive. Jimmy Johns unwich is pretty good, and they are pretty good at preventing cross contamination. Again, $35 for subs for the fam is kinda pushing the budget and could buy a lot of groceries.

Wait, what's cross contamination you ask? Well, not only do you have to worry about your actual food not having gluten in it, but you can't use a spatula, fork, knife, anything that has come into contact with gluten. That's not that big of a deal right? Think about things like jelly jars, butter dishes, peanut butter containers ... not so cut and dry.

I strongly dislike using the word hate. I really love words and using them. Hate is the not a particular accurate word to describe my feelings towards gluten. It isn't nearly strong enough nor descriptive enough. I am not even the one with celiac disease, either. Can't imagine what someone with a gluten sensitivity, intolerance or allergy thinks of gluten.

To learn what eating GF is all about this is a pretty good resource. Whether I like it or not, I have been forced into becoming a gf expert of some sorts. It has spurred my family into being much more careful about what is in the food we consume and products we use. So what are your thoughts on gluten? Are you as big of a gluten fan as I am?

New Year New Me

2012-01-01T23:24:00.000-06:00

'Losing weight' has to be the most cliche' new years resolution on the face of the planet. Technically, it's not this year's resolution, but a major part of my 2012! Despite 30 being a horrific number, it really hasn't been all that bad. Matter of fact, it has been the best 5ish months. Something just clicked, I plugged into a Biggest Loser competition and since October I have changed my life around completely. I'm currently in my 2nd Biggest Loser Competition and in 2nd place 3 weeks into it. Just being healthier isn't exactly something that is measurable, so here are my measurable goals for the following year in terms of getting healthy:

* Win my 2nd Biggest Loser Competition and lose a minimum of 20 more pounds
* Join a 3rd Biggest Loser Competition and lose a minimum of 20 more pounds
* Down to my goal weight by May 1st and/or the end of the 3rd Challenge
* Go 2012 miles in 2012 ... bookmark this page & you can track this adventure here.

In addition to physically bettering myself I want to make sure I am keeping the rest of life in balance, so here are a few of my other goals for this year.

* Making 1 on 1 time with each kid a daily priority. To keep track of this I am planning to pray with and for each of the kids at some point in my day.
* Praying daily for my husband. I have had a google calendar on my calendar for a few years but rarely follow through. Every day, I'll be following my calendar, praying & reading scriptures with my husband in mind. If you'd like to join me, here's the link to the calendar I use.
* Write a family mission statement, have it printed fancy, framed & hang it up somewhere in the house.

This is the first year I have made new year resolutions. Do you make resolutions? Do you think they are corny? I definitely think they are kinda corny, but I'm going to give it a go. Every month I'll try and revisit my resolutions and blog about where I'm at with them. Happy 2012 Everyone!

Mom Style Accomplishments

2011-12-29T23:09:00.001-06:00

Anyone with multiple children (and a husband) to look after, knows of this weird obsession with remaining on top of things that suddenly seems to happen over night. At first it starts out of necessity to impress play date visitors, outlaws/friends/random people who might stop by. When the outlaws visit and dishes litter your counter & sink yet you don't care; you've reached a new level of mother/wifehood. Whether that's a 'good' new level or not is debatable. The more children you add to your family the quicker you accelerate yourself to reach this organizational obsession! Suddenly, if a toy is littering the living room floor nearing nap or bed time, "pick up, pick up, everybody do their share" sing songs throughout the house until little hands ~~are conned~~ think it's fun to pick up pick up! You are scraping plates while the last bite of food is clumsily falling into the toddler's mouth off an over loaded oversized spoon. When each and every piece of clothing, minus what is on each family member's body, is washed, dried AND put away; your head hits the pillow with not only a sigh, but a deep sense of accomplishment comparable to acing a college final after 1 long night of cramming. Today my blog friends; gourmet style take out chip bags & sub wrappers from Jimmy Johns graces my garbage can, dishes from the past few days are littering my counter, laundry is mounded in various baskets (and a dirty sock still rests under the Christmas tree), but this is an accomplishment my type-A, organized obsessed fellow moms will truly appreciate ...

I am really tempted to go take some flash pictures of the boys' bedroom, Ella's bedroom, and the guest bathroom I washed down, dusted, vacuumed, washed mirrors/windows, & organized. I'd hate to awake the sleeping beasties, though. A before picture would really invoke the sense of accomplishment this picture gives me. The kids keep the floor clear around that jump house (that deflated red/blue thing), but each and every square inch of the floor was covered at least 1 toy, if not 2, 3 or 10 toys/packaging/garbage/wrapping paper scraps high. K, you are right 10 is a bit of an exaggeration, at least 9, though :)

The icing on the cake is that I don't have to be that neighbor snooping around trying to find a garbage can with room for about 10 extra bags of garbage this week as it's FREE overflow trash day tomorrow. My kids will lose fingers, possibly limbs, if each and every ~~piece of crap~~ toy doesn't get put back in its' special home mom spent hours slaving to make it. They have all been warned, even the 10 month old!

If you are haven't been on Facebook or don't follow me on there ... here's some more Christmas time excitement/long-enough-to-donate/yeah-for-losing-almost-25lbs/desperately-need-to-NOT-look-like-Mrs. Dugger hair do ...

Which doesn't mean a whole lot if you don't see this

Or this ...

Good Bye 2011, Hello 2012

2011-12-22T21:15:00.000-06:00

It seems like every end of the year flashback post is one full of blessings, excitement & thankfulness. I am truly blessed and humbled by all that has happened in the past year. I wasn't sure much would top 2010, but 2011 certainly has. Here's the unabridged annual Christmas Card letter ...

We started 2011 out, 3 months into knowing I was actually 6 months pregnant, I thought March would begin my own fast track trip to insanity; it brought a peace and stability that I've not known. It seems easier to run a house of 6 than it did a house of 5. If you have an explanation for that, let me know - for now I'll chalk it up to my anxiety, imagination, and those crazy pregnant hormones during the last few months of being a family of 5.

Addison fits perfectly into our family. No other person, book, or class has taught me more about faith than this little miracle of a blessing. Hard to believe 2011 started out with Addy inside of me and will end with her crawling, giggling, saying momma, eating, sitting up on her own. Although the first few months of her life was a sleepless blur of just getting through the day with all kids fed, bathed, clothed & to school; I've really cherished every day of her babyhood as it is most certainly the last baby I will have the privilege of caring for 24/7. She's a happy, easy going, quick to smile, cuddly little sweetheart who has an incredible bond with her big brother Brennan. Since her birth, Bren has taken to being her protector and comforter.

Brennan started 3 year old preschool this year and much to our surprise is doing extremely well in school. He is respectful, pays attention, is 'academically normal', and loves school. Jacob & I both asked the teacher to double check that we were talking about the same kid at our conference. At home he is our hyperactive, off the wall, very sensitive, quick to be sassy, high strung kind of kid. He definitely keeps us on our toes. The other day he randomly started to say 'dam' and after quizzing him, turns out he just made that word up. Yup, his imagination is sometimes shocking. His latest artistic interpretations of anything must include a butt crack ... definitely his father's son! After picking him up from preschool he is always sure to tell me how much he missed me, Connor, & Addison and asks if we missed him. When Ella gets home from school, although she's usually pretty crabby, he's thrilled to see her and shouts, "Ella I missed you so much!" He is a very sweet, caring, and passionate little guy.

Connor has hit that terrible 2 stage fast and hard, partially thanks to 2 older siblings who set the misbehavior bar high at times. Dare I type that we are past the spitting stage? It seemed like we were stuck in that for years, but really it was probably a few months of wiping nasty goobers off of kids, myself, toys, anything within 3-4 feet spitting radius of Connor. The new stage we've hit sounds like this, 'moommmm, no wannnnnnnnt thissssssss, mommmmmmmm, nooooooo...' make sure to draw those letters out with the absolute best 2 year old never ending kind of whine. I miss his normal voice some days. I know this stage will soon be over, though! He is such a ham, sometimes just looking at him causes the most contagious belly laughter ever. He brings a smile to my face just thinking of my little blond haired comedian.

Ella is a mini me in the truest sense, and is probably why I struggle the hardest parenting her. I know how she's thinking, I know the things that hurt her and in an effort to protect her and make her stronger, I often botch the parenting. She has taught me more about grace, forgiveness & mercy than any book, friend, or class. My heart breaks as she is getting her first taste of how mean other children can be. It's a new challenge to impart how to be Christ like to those who are very not Christ like. Over all, she has loved Kindergarten; already reading basic books on her own, tying her shoes, creating some amazing artistic creations, and can even do basic addition and subtraction. My favorite memories include her teaching me about things she's learning like primary colors, beats, rythmes, & how to drive a scooter. I was nervous to send her to public school, but Greenville Elementary has been an awesome experience and I am truly impressed.

Jacob took Graf Technology full time this fall and I was definitely far from being a supportive wife in that move. However, I've been impressed. He's able to be more flexible with his hours, and does work that he is passionate about & does a great job ... little shameless plug for Graf Technology - if you ever need website work done and computer repairs made, he's your guy!

Despite thinking 30 would do me in, it's been the best 1/4 of a year of my life so far. After seeing some awful pictures from a very surprise party that Jacob threw me; I knew I needed to make a change if I wanted to live another 30 years. I wish I could tell you what clicked, but something just clicked and rather than yoyo dietting, I've finally been able to make the change to live healthier and weight loss has been a benefit of this choice, not the focus. I joined a biggest loser competition and learned important nutrional information, had accountability & support, ultimately I ended up losing nearly 20 pounds and winning first place with highest percentage lost. I am 2 weeks into my 2nd Biggest Loser competition and have lost a little under 25 pounds. I have become addicted to exercising, spending 2 hours at the Y every day. I also strive to feed myself and my family more natural, God made food - cutting out fast food, processed and altered food has made a huge difference.

I hope 2011 has been memorable for you and that you and your family have been as blessed as I have been. Thanks for reading my therapy/blog & it's humbling to read your comments and be encouraged by your prayers and friendships, some oceans apart. Here's a quick look back at the year through a few of my favorite pictures.

Happy New Year from the Graf Family

Ella & I made the trek to Green Bay in -10 degree, February freezing coldness to see the Super Bowl Trophy presentation

8.9 months pregnant and ready to be done ... stick a fork in me kinda done!

Welcome to the World Addison Faith Graf

Snuggling with a proud daddy right before we left for home

Snuggling up with Daddy

Ella couldn't be more excited to have a baby sister!

Bren & Addy were best buddies from the get go

First picture of all 6 of us!

Ella super proud at her Preschool Art show & quickly leaving for Awana award night

The first few weeks/months we battled acid reflux, which made for many of these kinda faces from Addy & Mom!

Fo-Hawk cuddling with Dad

Smelling the beautiful tulips

The Lions Park, one of our favorite places to visit

Sweet Addy still growing the fo-hawk

Stormy clouds rolling in

Bren was dubbed the caterpillar whisperer this summer

Happy Father's Day to the best Daddy Ever

Strawberry picking with Devin & Mina

Brotherly love before church

Sad to have to call jumping in the mud puddle quits

Sisterly love at Grandma's & Grandpa's House

The Fo-Hawk continues!

The 4 most beautiful blessings of my life

Slip & slide & puddle jumping, a perfect summer!

It got so hot & humid that we resorted to Bubble Parties inside this summer

A trip to the zoo

Celebrating our anniversary date night doing mature things at Bed Bath & Beyond ... we don't recommend the pop a squat pocket chair in case you are wondering :)

Putting on our binoculars

Another visit to Lions Park ...

The Fo-Hawk hits pony tail stage

More stormy clouds rolling in

Nothing sweeter than newborn toes

A trip to Bay Beach

Ella's first day of Kindergarten

Brennan's first day of Preschool

My sweet Packer Backers

Apple Picking

Pretty official looking

We loved walking the trail around the Appleton West Y

A pretty darn cute little Connor-Ham

One of my all time favorite pictures of the kids! Kisses for Addy!

Jacob surprised me with Packer tickets ... this card 'stunt' was pretty cool to be a part of!

Went hunting a Christmas tree and got a tree, 2 reindeer & a Penguin!

December 2011, -23 pounds

Rung in 2011 in my belly, waving good bye before crawling off to climb the Christmas tree

The cutest little guy ready to go sledding, even though we have the first ever white-less Christmas here in Wisconsin!

A sample of Brennan's art work ... santa with a butt crack ...

2011 Christmas Card from my family to yours ... Merry Christmas!

House to Saul/Paul All in A Day

2011-12-20T00:41:00.000-06:00

Talk about opportunities to live out your faith. I've already crossed patience off of my prayer list, maybe opportunities to be faithful & trusting need to take a breather for a bit, too. Wheww.

I've been battling what I thought was a contact issue since Saturday. Friday I had the annual eye doctor visit and switched to a new brand of lenses in hopes of saving a few dollars. Saturday they were bothering me, immediately my left eye swelled and turned red & got really yucky, for lack of a better word. It progressively got worse until Monday morning I woke up & the entire left side of my face was swollen to the point on not being able to open my eye. I was definitely thankful our great eye doctor had set up to meet me before hours. On my way to see him I started not being able to see color out of my left eye. Thankfully, everything in my eye checked out healthy, but I was on my way to the ER now as something was seriously wrong. On the way to drop the kids off at a friend's house, I started losing feeling in my lips and my hearing was starting to go. I got into the ER and the doctor had no idea what was up and called in a consultation. FYI - doctors looking at you with an 'I-have-no-clue' look on their face, leaves a lump in your throat and a sick feeling in your stomach. A feeling I've never experienced before and don't care to ever revisit again. It was determined I had some sort of allergic reaction - not necessarily to the contacts, but to play it safe I am going to go back to my usual brand of lenses and hope they don't cause the same issue. I've worn contacts going on 15 years and have never had a problem with them. Still have no idea what caused it, but it hasn't even been the full 24-48 hours before the medicine will work and the swelling has gone done significantly and things are getting much better!

Even though this all was just a matter of 4 hours it was a pretty frightening 4 hours. Looking back, with perfect hindsight I see that my faith and trust were just called out and I played about as well as the Steelers did tonight in their 3-20 loss to the 49ers. How many times had I encouraged friends who were facing medical challenges bigger than medical professionals' power; to be strong, courageous, to not lose faith, to trust in God and His plan? Too many times! Not that these things are bad, but I apologize to those who I've shared these unmerited totally empathetic-less encouragements with. I didn't intend to be empathetic, but until you are in that position; you have no idea the emotions & thoughts they are battling. I am so grateful my experience was very short lived; I am sure I'd have not even scored a field goal if it were much of a long term issue. I have a new respect for those who have gracefully fought & won (and even those who have fought with grace & lost) ... living out your faith & trust in God, even in these most physically trying circumstances; speaks volumes.

I am also thankful for an opportunity to realign my perspective. How many times have I bemoaned the mounding laundry, accumulating dishes, crumbs sticking to my socks, pine needles on the ground, rude drivers cutting me off, kids whining & crying, & each and every other little inconvenience I've faced? Too many. I was thankful I could see the grass stains (yes, it's the week of Christmas in Wisconsin & I am washing out grass stains on my boys' pants still ... no snow yet) that needed to be pretreated tonight. I was thankful to be able to see crumbs that needed to be swept. The thought of losing my sight or hearing has really brought a new appreciation to Connor's constant whine and being able to spot a rude driver before rear ending or side swiping them.

As I sat down to watch the Steelers hand over a win tonight I felt like I was living out a Bible story. A big change of pace compared to the House patient I had felt like earlier today! I lived out a modern day Saul to Paul transformation. I am sure there is some medical explanation to what happened, but I was sitting here and my eye itched a little and these little scale like flakes began to come out of my eye. I am now seeing the Christmas tree in full color and although my sight isn't totally back to normal, it is much much better than it was all day today. I could only read the first few lines of the eye chart with my left eye this morning. It was truly a creepy, gross out, but amazing kind of experience.

I am very thankful to be able to see things in a new light, literally & figuritively. Thankful for great family & friends who were praying for me and who went out of their way to help Jacob & I out with the kids. I am really thankful that my shopping & wrapping is done and what is usually a stressful week in the Graf house will be full of fun baking, decorating, and getting ready for fun Christmas celebrations with our family. I know you are all dying to see this, so yes, of course, Jacob snapped a picture ... this was a little after the Benadryl IV drip was started and the swelling had definitely started to go down. I couldn't even open my left eye earler.

Finally Getting It

2011-12-17T22:32:00.000-06:00

I finally get it.

I get why older moms looked at my falling out pony tail, spit up stained clothes, smeared make up and could only see the newborn in my arms. They'd always be sure tell me to enjoy every second of her & each and every time I more than willingly offered to switch spots with them. Tonight after the older kids all got put to bed it was just me and my Addy.

I knew her tooth had poked through a few weeks ago, but it has taken awhile to really come down. This toothy smile brought home this lesson.

I finally get it.

I get that each day I get to spend looking at this sweet baby's face is a blessing, even if it is not smiling and is whining and crying or sick. Days and nights just flowed together in the beginning and it was hard to appreciate my sweet newborn while caring for my not-always-so-sweet older kids. So many days of Ella's, Brennan's & Connor's first year I spent wishing them away. Wondering when they would roll over, when they would crawl, take their first step, say their first word, give me a first kiss.

This has to be why the baby of the family gets 'babied' so much. This is the last of the 1st teeth, the last of the first crawling, the last of the first steps for my children. I finally get that as boring, mundane, frustrating, exhausting, selfless as mothering can be; it's an honor to share in these little lives, in each and every day/night of their life. I finally get it. Just like my husband & I spent our college years wishing them away in hopes for an exciting chance at real adult life; I've been wishing away a lot of the early years of motherhood. I've let the short term sleepless nights, tantrums, time outs, sassiness drown out the long term perspective that they are only little for so many years. The first 9 months of this little one's first year have flown by unlike any of the older kids. All because of 1 little toothy grin ... I get it.

Thanks my sweet Addy for helping me appreciate the here and now a little more than I have in the past and giving me one last opportunity to cherish these first moments of yours.

Winning at Losing

2011-12-08T13:09:00.000-06:00

The Biggest Loser Competition has ended! I've met some great friends and most importantly I have made some serious changes in the way I live my life. I appreciate the support of so many family and friends and I must say I have the best facebook friends ever! Special thanks to those who checked in every Thursday to see my progress and encourage me through the whole process. I have made excuses all my life and chalked my weight up to being big boned & having a slow metabolism, 4 kids, no time and blah blah blah. No more excuses! I want to live healthy, enjoy my children and grandchildren (some day)! I eat the right portion sizes, I stick to healthy food choices & most importantly I exercise! The challenge was 9 weeks long, but actually ended up being 12 with Thanksgiving off and another week that was a planned off date. I am excited to celebrate this milestone, but I also am looking long term and know the road ahead will get even more difficult as I have another 36 pounds to lose to reach my ultimate goal. I did achieve my 20 pound goal for this challenge and I lost a total of 6.75 INCHES!! So my exciting announcement is NOT that I am pregnant, but it is this:

I WON 1ST PLACE & $50 AND LOST A TOTAL OF 6.75 INCHES!

Special thanks to my sister-in-law for this special side by side of a before & after. The fat picture was taken at my 30th birthday party on September 11th of this last fall.

September 11th vs. December 7th

THANK YOU to all of you who have been an encouragement and support the past few months! I am starting my 2nd Biggest Loser competition next Thursday and will work extra hard to lose another 20 pounds! If you live in the Appleton area and want to join up in a Biggest Loser competition contact me and I will get you the details! This was the best $35 I've ever spent - 1 hour nutrition class once a week, a one on one coach, accountability & support - I can't say enough great stuff about the program at The Fuze and the ladies who work there! They helped me do what I've struggled to do all of my life!

Confessions of Complacency

2011-12-06T14:42:00.001-06:00

The blessing of children, the blessing of a loving, supportive husband often gets lost in the day to day busyness of life, especially when extra holiday busyness is added to my list. The necessity of doing dishes, laundry, dusting, vacuuming, mopping, sweeping cooking, baking, present purchasing, present wrapping, errand running, volunteering, party attending often hold more weight on our to do list than the long term qualitative things of life. This morning I sat in my van that was idling in my driveway; reading a book, dinking on my phone, listening to music. A latest favorite, not because of the cheesy midi sounding music, but because of the impacting words, song came on and my neighbors must have thought I really lost it as the tears streamed down my face. Listen to it ...

I was pretty convicted that I had chosen to get lost in these menial tasks and have pushed being a mom and wife aside. I had lost the fact that I am first a child of God, I am a wife & a mom. I had forgotten Who I Am. When I looked in the mirror I seen a mom who loses it and yells, a mom who is impatient. I seen the wife who disrespects her husband, who neglects his needs. A person whose words drip with more sarcasm than love and kindness, whose actions reflect the impatient hurriedness of life. I became a mom, wife, friend who would take the easiest path of least resistance instead of pouring the extra effort into life and making the most out of each opportunity to show love to those in my life.

I don't know about you, but I really needed to be reminded who I am and who I belong to, especially in this season of life. Remembering this makes it all that easier to pour more into life. I don't want to become complacent in my relationships and roles. I want to bring it all to the table and not to leave regretting not having put my heart into everything. I've been blessed to be enjoying life with these wonderful short people lately:

If you live in Northeastern Wisconsin, we highly recommend Whispering Pines as THE place to go cut your Christmas tree down. Excellent prices, great experience, super helpful and friendly staff & really easy to find! The bathtub picture was a cute one left over from Thanksgiving, you cannot find 2 cute boys with water guns in a bathtub there ... nor can you find a cute boy pretending to eat a fish tail at Whispering Pines!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T00:34:00.000-06:00

For the first time today I have finally got the chance to sit down and just veg. The sounds of a whirling dishwasher, twisting & turning of the washing machine, hum of the drier, & the mindless cheesy soap music & dialog fills the air. I thought how wonderful to enjoy such noises; not only are they sounds of a productive evening, but they lack some of the more frustrating noises of my day. I thought I knew what a whiney kid sounded like. Unfortunately, not only has Connor brought about a whole new meaning to 'terrible 2s', he has also readjusted my previous understanding of whining. His whine is so whiney that whatever it is he asking or complaining about isn't even intelligible. I can handle the whine here and there when kids are stretched & are over tired or extremely hungry; but when there's no reasoning behind it and when it becomes the sound I hear more often than not; that annoys me.

But really, Thanksgiving is here & tis the season to be thankful! I am so thankful for: my Savior, my husband, my 4 kids, my extended family (out laws & all), my church, my friends (past & present), the opportunity to be plugged into a great moms group at my church, the opportunity to write & connect with & encourage moms all around the world, techy geekiness that keeps me connected, and much to my husband's chagrin I am definitely an Mac addict ... thank you Steve Jobs for awesome techy stuff, for a house that fits my big family and provides plenty of space to enjoy life together, for vehicles that get us to and from, for food to eat, for football to watch, for everything :) What are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving from the Graf family to yours :) Go Pack Go 11-0!

Be The Parent

2011-11-22T00:37:00.000-06:00

Sometimes parenting transitions are smooth and seamless. I wish I could say these happen more often than not, but in my 6 short years of parenting my experiences are leading me to think otherwise. A majority of the transitions are tear-filled on both the parents & child's parts. I got something that has motivated me to stick it out and probably the lamest piece of parenting advice you'll ever hear.

A dear friend shared this little tidbit with me as we were hitting some of the first transitions with Ella.

"You don't need to be your child's friend. You have plenty of friends and they will one day have plenty of friends, too. You are their mom (or dad). Be their mom (or dad)."

Duh. Hand to forehead. So often I look at my parenting issues and I get the sassiness and disrespect from my children because the ship I run isn't as tight as it should be. Whether I am purposefully trying to avoid conflict or whether I inadvertently don't follow through; both lead to the same outcome. Forgetting you are the parent is cause for some serious issues.

It is so simple yet something we easily forget. We are so worried about scaring our children for life, or being cause for extensive counseling needs in the future that we sugar coat & protect them from everything and anything. Truth be told; your child will learn more from failing on their own than from you fixing all of their problems. Truth be told; if you don't want your child to use a pacifier, take it away & stick to your guns. You get to make the calls, and although there are plenty of long terms consequences to decisions you make; feel good, fluffy, friendly, muddled kind of decisions do not benefit the child or the parent. I'd rather be a mom with clear boundaries and unconditional love for my children, than one without boundaries and conditional based love.

If you find yourself wanting to rip your hair out & wondering who swapped out your well behaved child for a fire breathing, horn sprouting beast who spews nothing but disrespectful, disgusting hurtful things; remember this: you are the parent! Easier said than done, but one of those lightbulb realizations! It's helpful to remember your child isn't acting up as a personal insult to you, even though it may feel like it, this is all part of the natural process or growing up. They are searching out boundaries and developing their own little personalities; they need you to be a parent who will define those boundaries, reinforce them consistently and unconditionally love that child no matter how close they toe the boundary lines or how far they cross those lines.

Anything & Everything

2011-11-18T22:46:00.000-06:00

I missed my Wedded Bliss Wednesday & my Taking Back Thursday posts because I was busy cleaning, prepping, baking, cooking, decorating, and everything & anything else that goes into planning a birthday party for my now 6 year old daughter! This week was a blast & jam packed full of anything and everything but sleep!

A friend & I enjoyed the Monday night Packer/Viking game, thanks to a great husband who gave me 2 tickets & the night off of mommy duty. It was a blast & of course Packers won, 9-0 for the season!

It was pretty special to be a part of this card stunt, I think our side read Thank You Military, but not sure as I could only see the opposite side :)

So I got nothing profound on Wedded Bliss, but that we all sometimes really drop the marriage ball. I not only dropped it but kicked it pretty far, too. A big sorry to my husband, who is off on his 2011 deer hunting adventure, for letting you go under my radar and taking a back seat to other less important things this entire week. It's definitely not ok to drop the ball, but it happens & it's best to take ownership of your shortcomings and talk things out & personally try to be sure the same circumstances don't reoccur.

Taking Back Thursday ... after a disappointing last week of dropping barely 1lb, I kicked it back in high gear losing almost 3 more pounds and bumping my percentage up past 7%! I am really enjoying exercising and it's becoming addicting. The first 15 minutes of either aerobics or a Y workout royally sucks. But if I can make it through the pain and mental battle to enjoy kid free time in the lounge rather than bonding with the weight machines, bikes & treadmills than I am good to go for my 2 hour work out Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays. I have to really push myself to get over the flop-on-the-couch and sleep 15 minute mental torture session for every aerobic workout I do at home. I thought step aerobics looked fun. Fun as in not much on me doesn't hurt, was not quite the fun I had in mind. It feels great to get my goals on track with not only eating but also exercising, too. I made it through the birthday party without ruining my calorie/protein/fiber goals and about an hour ago at 9:30pm was the first chance I've had to really sit down since I woke up this morning. My pedometer thingy says that I clocked nearly 14,000 steps despite not having hit the gym or turned the annoying in home aerobics instructor on. It was a busy day! Now to get through Thanksgiving without ruining my 10% goal by December 8th!

Still in 1st & hoping to bring it this next week!

Hard to believe I have a 6 year old already! 6 years ago today I remember pushing for 2 long hours and finally hearing my sweet Ella cry, but that's about all I remember after she was born. I heard, "she's going to die if we don't hurry" and then passed out. I am so thankful for an awesome doctor who saved my life & took measures to assure I could have more children! About 10 hours after Ella was born I finally got to meet her and hold her. She's been an amazing example of childlike faith. Ella excels in everything she does - whether it takes her 5 seconds or 5 minutes, she puts forth 100% effort to understand & master concepts before moving on. She's a mini mom, who enjoys playing house, Sunday school, & school with her brothers. She has quite an intense, dramatic, emotional, internalizing, caring, sensitive young girl. It's an honor to be her mother, and although challenging at times, I wouldn't trade my Ella Bella for anything in the world. Here's a few pictures of the fun we had today!

A giant cupcake and a few regular cupcakes for Ella's party with her school friends.

The birthday table set up ready for a wild & riveting game of Pixie Fairy Bingo!

Fun buttercream roses tipped purple, pink & green

Ella picked these turkey cupcakes out as treats to bring in for her birthday

The whole herd/gaggle/flock/whatever you call it of turkeys for Ella's class (cupcake, frosting, Oreo + candy corn = super easy, huge hit!)

Ella, Bren & Connor decorated the front windows for Ella's big day!

1st Time Passion 4th Time Perspective

2011-11-16T23:07:00.000-06:00

Being in this Biggest Loser competition thing, it feels like much of my life revolves around formulas. Formulas of how many calories, how many ounces, how many grams, how many miles will combat how many pounds.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could break parenting down into a formula. How easy would parenting be if there were concrete formulas like; practice so many spelling words and get an A, give so many time outs and get a well behaved child, so many hours of sleep and no crabbiness, so many vitamins & healthy food and no illnesses or disease. Instead we have advice like: sleep with your baby, let your baby cry him/herself to sleep, sleep on back, sleep on belly, time outs, no time outs, spankings, no spankings, grounding, not grounding, buy them a car, don't buy them a car, match their savings, give them no money, do this, don't do this, do that, don't do that & on & on & on.

Parenting 4 children brings about a lot of parental experiences, however it has yet to lead me to that magic formula. Matter of fact, if anything, it has lead me to believe that there is definitely no formula or blanket solution to any parenting issue. What works for one child will more than likely not work for another child. Matter of fact, what works for one child will probably be cause for counseling for another child. I am continually amazed that all 4 of my children are indeed from my husband & I. If they didn't look alike, share a last name, and birthed by me; I'd think they came from 4 different planets. The sooner parents realize that each child will require different parenting the sooner they can start being effective parents to each & every one of their children.

I wish I could turn the clock back and hold my 8lb 10z Ella with the confidence and comfortableness that I held my 7lbs 13oz Addison. I wish the excitement & enthusiasm for all the smiles, coos, laughs & baby cuteness were just as natural with my fourth baby as they were with my first. Other than raising my kids to love the Lord, for now this is the only formula of sorts I am really concerned at equaling out. I don't want to miss out on the excitement of Addy's milestones because I've already celebrated them with 3 other children. I don't want to love on my Ella and have fun with her any less than how much I love on Addy and have fun with her. I want to strive to have the same parenting passion I had with Ella with Brennan, Connor & Addison. I want to bring the perspective of a fourth time a mom to parenting Ella, Brennan, Connor & Addison.

Are you a parent of multiple children? How do you keep your parenting passion alive for each of them? Has the 3, 4, 5, 6 ... children provided a new perspective to parenting your older children?

WBW: Encourage Your Spouse

2011-11-09T22:42:00.000-06:00

We are back with the latest installment of Wedded Bliss Wednesday at the Mom Blog. Here are Lisa (in purple) & Debi's (in red) thoughts on how to best encourage your spouse!

Mark November 9th, 2011 as the first major snowfall for northeastern Wisconsin! This was taken pretty early on, but tonight at about 10:40 the snow is enough to shovel and completely covering (and sticking) to the ground.

In between wiping dirty butts, helping spell words, volunteering for various things, keeping up with a household of 6 worth of chores; sometimes I forget about the relationship that requires the most effort; but seems to be easily forgotten. My husband can wipe his own butt, spell his own words & feed himself so all too often he takes a back seat.

In today's Wedded Bliss Wednesday here is a practical, day to day, children, no children, grandchildren, every kind of stage of life way to encourage your spouse.

- Pray for him or her. I have it set up to repeat monthly on my google calendar and use the daily reminder option to start my day out praying for my husband.

- Purpose to only say positive things about him/her to others. Women need to talk everything out, but I have yet to come away from a husband bashing session feeling encouraged. Of course your spouse has and will mess up, but spreading their failures and shortcomings will definitely not build them up or strengthen your marriage. Surround yourselves with like minded people! There's even challenges going on that you could join in for some extra accountability!

- Speak their language!

- Just do it!

- Do all you can to turn the heat down. Sometimes it's important to agree to disagree, but it's also as important to remember that your spouse loves you and wants what is best for you & the relationship. I often catch myself wondering if my husband is purposefully trying to tick me off and that is really the farthest from the truth.

- Pack him/her a lunch and slip a note, or jot a note on a napkin (and hope it'll be used)!

- Do things you normally wouldn't do, but know your spouse enjoys. In my house that would be me sitting down watching some auction, pawn shop, motorcycle building kind of shows with my husband. Take it to another level and actually sit through a This Old House or whatever those corny PBS home improvement shows.

- Work together on projects or to meet personal goals. You will not find a better accountability partner than your spouse.

- Support the other's goals and dreams and ambitions as though they were your own.

- Model what being a loving spouse looks like for your kids. Be a servant and serve him or her. Respect your husband's authority with the kids and don't interfere. Love your wife and care for her. Our kids will have 1 step up in this thing called marriage if they have lived out childhoods with loving and supportive parents.

Not that this is anywhere near being an exhaustive list of things you can do to encourage your spouse, but it is definitely a good start. What are you waiting for?

I've come up with an acrostic for the word "ENCOURAGE." By following each letter I know my husband would be greatly encouraged whatever challenge he is facing. Would these work for your husband as well? If not, share with us what would. All men are different, so what works for my husband or Lisa's husband may or may not work for yours. The key is to study your spouse so you know how best to encourage him.

E - Embrace when he leaves in the morning and when he comes home at night. It's important for him to know you are there for them each and every day.
N - Nudge him when he's unsure or lacking confidence about a decision. As his helper it is your privilege to help him make difficult decisions. Giving him a nudge may be the encouragement he needs.
C - Clean your space. My husband loves to walk into our room and see it beautifully in order. This encourages him by allowing him to relax.
O - Organize his stuff. This goes with the above point, but takes it a step further. If I shove the mess in a drawer it only prolongs the job. Doing it right the first time helps me as well.
U - Understand he is human; he is a sinner; and he has weaknesses. It doesn't help to point out every weakness by nagging. Instead come alongside and fill in the gap. This is helping your husband when they need it most.
R - Romance him by initiating sex. Guaranteed your husband is most encouraged when we let them know we want them as much as they want us.
A - Allow him to vent when he is under pressure. I'm not talking about sinfully letting him blow up in anger, but allow him to talk about what concerns him without interrupting with out advice. Just listen.
G - Go out of your way to do what he asks. Making this a priority helps lighten the load he is carrying.
E - Engage in his world. If he loves golf - learn how to golf. If he loves fishing - go with him. If he loves to read - listen when he's telling you about the storyline. Be his best friend, by caring about what he loves.

And if these aren’t enough we refer you to the Encourage Your Spouse blog where Lori Ferguson always has a fresh idea on how to do this well!

Firing the Babysitter

2011-11-08T22:58:00.002-06:00

I'll be the first to admit that my children watch their fair share (and then some) of TV. Last week, I spent a lot of time helping plan an event at my church and I am reaping the rewards of having used the TV as a babysitter far too often. The more kids shows I watch the more adamant I am to avoid using TV at all costs.

Dora goes on great adventures that include 3 challenges and always end in winning. Diego always rescues the animal. Wonder Pets are on their way to help a friend and save the day. Ni Hao Kai-Lan always ends with everyone feeling happy. Even innocent PBS classics like Curious George, WordWorld & Clifford all have happy smiley endings and all is right with the world.

I have to wonder what these feel good, problem solved within 15 minutes or a half hour kind of shows do to my children's mentality. Are we setting our kids up for a major fail in the crash course of reality when they can't fix their problems in 3 easy steps, or when someone they love dies, or when they can't make their friends happy?

So do I tell my innocent almost 6 year old that she's going to face challenges that won't be broken up into 3 easy steps and always end with her conquering the challenge? Sure, I can even say useful words like 'chocolate' in Spanish, we can all count to 10 in Spanish & we even know a few Chinese words. The kids might get a little extra multicultural awareness, although the quality of that is arguable at best.

I appreciate 15 minutes to switch laundry loads, or to shower, or to put dishes away or whatever is on my long list of to-dos. However, it's about time I fire this babysitter & invest in activities that might require more effort on my part, but will not leave my children with such a warped view of reality. Not that I want my kids to see what realities of life look like just yet; but I'd like to make sure when they begin to face real challenges they have a real mind set, strengthened & grounded by their faith in God and with my husband & I by their side.

What do you think of kid TV? Are there certain shows you do not allow your kids to watch? Do you limit their time in front of the TV?

Taking Back Thursday: Light Bulb Moments

2011-11-03T23:54:00.000-05:00

It's Thursday again, even if it's only Thursday for 9 more minutes! Thursday is one of my most favorite days of the week. Never in a million years did I imagine I'd be excited to go a nutrition class and get weighed in. Today marked a major milestone in my weight loss journey.

Did you see that picture there?! That'd be 4 pieces of naturally rising Orvs meat supreme (or something like that) pizza. In the past 5 weeks I have avoided cooking things like pizza or having potato chips or candy around or anything remotely tempting around. However, trick-or-treating has created an unavoidable temptation & my kids like pizza as much as I do. Have you ever had those light bulb moments where something that is so basic and 'duh' just clicks for you?
So no, I did not scarf all 4 of those pieces for lunch. Brennan had 1 piece, Connor ate 2 pieces & I ate just 1 piece of pizza. I wasn't starving afterward & the best part about it was there were 4 pieces left over.

The light bulb clicked for me. I am past the crazed need to shovel everything available in my mouth. Just because the kids only eat 3 of the 8 pieces of pizza doesn't mean I need to eat the remaining 5. I also can't go through the rest of my life avoiding pasta, pizza, candy, chips and all those yummy kind of extremely unhealthy foods. Although, I need to bite the bullet (and not every other food available to me) and really keep a strict diet during this Biggest Loser competition, I need to learn how to make smart choices with what I do eat and be completely realistic. Who in the world can manage to eat that entire pyramid, or plate of food in a day without going over their daily caloric intake? Instead of beating myself up for that mini dark snickers candy I nabbed from the kids' halloween loot, I can enjoy 1 mini snack and leave it at that. I don't need to dig out each and every piece of chocolate from the candy bowl and inhale it.

Almost 30 years after it probably should have clicked for me; I am starting to get this whole eating right thing. Eating a variety of healthy foods, enjoying a not so healthy snack here and there, and eating within the right portion amount are the keys to a good diet. Every day is a challenge to drink my 120oz of water, to eat the right amount of protein & fiber, keeping portion sizes in check & fit my work out in. I've loved exercising and it has started to become a habit for me finally. If I don't get my hour of cardio dance or extreme cardio work out in I feel really yucky. It's amazing how much more energized I feel when I put forth the effort & exercise. The kids have even joined me in shaking 'booties'. It is very entertaining to watch a 2 & 4 year old even try basic step touches! I am encouraged that the hard work is paying off & continue to find motivation with this ...

I am only 4.75lbs away from reaching my 9 week goal. Since I have a little over a month to reach that goal, I am going to push myself to lose yet another 10lbs by December 8th. It's so exciting! This has been a complete life style change and the weight loss seems to be an added bonus. (I am currently winning the challenge between my husband & I, too!)

Have you ever had one of those light bulb switching on moments? What keeps you motivated to keep at your goals?

Wedded Bliss Wednesday

2011-11-02T23:10:00.000-05:00

Because I (Lisa) flopped at coordinating a Wedded Bliss Wednesday post this week with Debbie from The Romantic Vineyard, I'm just going to share a sappy love story instead.

Ok, so no, it's not really sappy, but for some odd reason I've been asked how I met my husband a few times in the past week and it's fun to think back almost 12 years ago on the dating memories.

ICQ, a chat engine thing from way back in the day, was my generation's version of text messaging. This random Cobbers83 guy kept messaging me and he seemed like a nice guy, but I was really not interested in dating. I was about to head off to Germany & then spend my last summer before college golfing, hanging out with friends & all that fun stuff. After I got back from Germany, Cobbers83 still messaged me. Huh. So I agreed to meet him for a movie. About an hour before the movie he told me he was bringing his 5 closest buddies ... I am pretty sure I called and begged every friend I knew until I finally found one who could come with me. I remember checking the guys out as they walked towards us and telling my friend I hoped it wasn't that one ... the one wearing the swim shorts, black socks, Addidas sandals, and a button up dress shirt. The rest is history and yes, my husband still dons the swim shorts & black socks combo every once in awhile.

So how did you meet your significant other?

These Kinda Days

2011-10-30T00:50:00.000-05:00

I can't even begin to count how many times I've heard how much a mom misses these days. Right. These days when you lose track of how many time outs, spankings, hand holding, nose touching, no talking, nap taking punishments you've doled out? These days where you just sit and laugh at your son's contorted face because it's so obnoxiously disrespectful and you've corrected it so many times already today that if laughter didn't start rolling the tears would soon start falling. All day long the oldest sister spited the oldest brother every chance she had. Giving him a nasty look if she needed to walk by him for anything, and by walk by him I really mean go at least 15-20 feet out of her way to 'brush' into him. Of course gently enough so he wouldn't fall over or be hurt, but would just whine to a mother who had heard so much whining she was ready to whip out the duct tape. I am entirely convinced the more children you have the more difficult they are to parent because they pick up the worst of worst behaviors and habits from their older siblings. So not only does Connor spit and sputter in his own little 2 year old temper tantrum throwing add on the drama stage, but it is compounded with plowing into people, whining, the sassy looks & the disrespect his older siblings try to pull. These days where you catch yourself not only threatening to do crazy things like 'never feed you again,' but classics like 'your eyes are going to stick that way' and 'I'll give you something to cry about' that you swore you'd never say. These days when you get in the car and turn up the music loud enough to drown out the incessant whining, but not loud enough to harm their precious ear drums (that are probably still ringing from being yelled at), of course. These days where the sight of your husband lifts a weight from your shoulders yet burdens your mind with shallow rooted guilt, of being a mom who failed. Failed at keeping your home harmonious. Failed at creating a welcoming atmosphere to welcome Dad home in. Failed to hold it together. Failed to model Christ like behavior despite trying circumstances. Failed.

I am thankful that these days are far and few between. That night, when I heard little giggles coming from downstairs, muffled laughs, and feet pitter pattering between the beds, at first the anger burned. I can't help but smile and thank God for kids who really don't despise each other's very being & who, at the end of the day, really do love each other and spending time together. I am also thankful that the failure feeling has short roots in fleeting bad days. It's a good thing that parenting is a culmination of years of training, loving, molding & modeling. Most importantly, it's a great thing that our identity is not in our job, our children, our status, our anything ... it's all about Him and doing anything for His glory!

Celebrating Halloween

2011-10-27T22:49:00.000-05:00

It's that time of the year where little goblins, witches & vampires come rapping on my door nabbing up the candy. Lots of Christians poopoo Halloween for many reasons. We haven't poopooed nor have we celebrated Halloween yet. By celebrated I don't mean pulling out the cauldrons & whooping it up in a family round of devil worship. By celebrated I mean, donning costumes and knocking on doors, visiting neighbors and racking in a big candy collection that'll be the ultimate challenge for this mom during the whole Biggest Loser competition! We haven't celebrated because our children have been deathly afraid of costumes in the past. Then this happened ....

Someone want to remind her just a few years she was on the verge of barfing when she seen Cubbie bear at Awana. Or that when she was in Puggles, they needed to remove her from the room during puppet time because she was so frightened of them. This year the kids are excited for Halloween. For the first year we will have a couple little Spidermans & probably a princess or girly girl or something like that.

But I just look forward to a Halloween that we can actually turn on our lights, leave the blinds open & hand out candy instead of holing up and assuring spazztic children that the witches, goblins, and ghosts are not real and not coming to get them. Really, it's not about bowing down and worshiping the devil or anything more than putting on some goofy fun costumes for a night and loading up on candy. Some things just don't need to be read into. Let kids be kids and race house to house and fill up their bags with oodles of sugar that will keep them bouncing off the walls for days, even months!

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Disclaimer: Feelings not meant to be hurt, friends not meant to be offended. I know & understand some of my friends choose not to 'celebrate'/recognize Halloween for various reasons & I completely respect those decisions. Feel free to comment with your thoughts on Halloween. Although it is a very innocent 'holiday' in our house, I know it has very different meaning for others.

Top 5 Reasons NOT To Blog

2011-10-27T22:08:00.000-05:00

Not really trying to NOT blog. I can't stand hearing why people are slacking on their blog. So instead of lots of excuses here is my top 5 list of things that took precedence over blogging in the past few weeks of life here in the Graf house.

1. I was sick & needed sleep whenever possible and my usual 1/2am bedtimes were about 4-5 hours too late.
2. I count every calorie, protein gram, ounce of water that enter my body. Eating has become a scientific method that requires extra planning to assure I get 100% of the daily vitamins & nutrients that are needed and not 1 calorie, gram or ounce more.
3. I have pushed myself to complete at least 2 hours worth of work outs every day the past few weeks whenever possible. I've left myself/body as last priority for far too long and need to do a lot of extra work to reclaim it.
4. I'm honored to be helping plan Mission221 and have spent a lot of time assuring it will be a successful event for His glory.
5. The iPhone 4s has been a fun new toy that I've wasted way too much time asking Siri funny stuff. I am anxiously awaiting my latest geek gadget that is scheduled to arrive Monday ... goodbye craptastic HP Netbook with 500 issues, hello Mac whatever-my-extra-geeky-hubby-ordered-me computer that will run perfect from the get go!

My kids are still cute though, even if they have made for some really extra long days that are the kind I will more than likely choose not to remember ... sometimes being a mom is a whole lot of work and really not a whole lot of fun.

Oh yeah we do ...

Bren loves letting Ella & Mom build marble towers and then spending hours racing marbles down

Fun Daddy time

It appears they have all outgrown the snow pants! It snowed here today for a few minutes, but nothing stuck Praise the Lord!

Turn Up The Heat

2011-10-26T23:45:00.000-05:00

Usually, I (Lisa) prewrite up the WBW post late the week before we post and get it to Debi. This last week I was running around crazy busy and it totally caught up to me and I found myself battling a fever among countless other ailments. I asked a few of my UBCers for some prayers and they were awesome and Debi took the initiative and wrote the entire WBW post for the week on her own. (Thank you a hundred times over.) I am sure if you look at the sidebar you'll notice that although October 31st, the end of the UBC 31 day Challenge approaches, I am a few posts shy of 31. I hate to lose out on a challenge & it'd be awesome to crank out 31, I am not all that hopeful. I have taken to resting when my kids rest and in an effort to keep up with My Biggest Loser competition I spend far more time exercising than I do writing. So without further ado, here is this week's Wedded Bliss Wednesday post, which 15 minutes to spare!

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Sadly, Lisa Graf with Mom Blog took the title of this post quite literally. She has a high fever and is quite sick, so I'm covering today's post all by myself. Lisa - we pray God heals you quickly, so you're back to doing all the things God has called you to do. Until then, rest!

: Photo Credit: iStock Photos

Last week in our Wedded Bliss Wednesday we talked about "turning down the heat," in reference to conflict in your marriage. Today we want to look at the flip side - turning up the heat of passion in your marriage.

It is difficult when raising small children to find time to pursue your husband the way you did B/C, but it is possible. It just takes more planning and thinking - really thinking about your man throughout the day.

Awhile back I was at a ladies retreat when the Lord shared with me a word picture that I believe will be helpful for our topic today:

: Photo Credit: zearticles.com

I saw a woman who was sitting in a darkly lit room. It was winter outside so the room was cold. There was a fireplace, but the fire had died down and only a few red embers remained. In order to find warmth the woman took a coat off of the nearby coat rack and put it on quickly. She still shivered in the cold room, so she grabbed the blanket off the couch and wrapped it tightly around herself. The chill remained. She continued to rock hoping the movement along with the layers would warm her cold body.

What was odd about the picture was the fact that there was still unburned firewood in the fireplace. All she needed to do to warm the room was to stir the embers, but instead she shivered in the dark, cold room.

I believe this picture represents many marriages. The fires of passion have died down. Instead of stirring the embers to reignite the flames of passion in her marriage, this woman chose, instead to wrap the blanket of self-pity and the coats of pride around her. She wasn't willing to do whatever it would take to reignite the flame, but chose instead to be cold and alone.

Have you found your marriage to be cold and lonely lately? Every marriage walks through seasons like this, but what you do about it separates strong marriages from weak ones. Many women believe since it is the man's Biblical role to lead in the marriage that they should take the romantic lead as well. This is simply not true. Passion and romance in the marriage is the responsibility of both the husband and the wife. If your husband isn't taking the first step, then you by all means should. Plan something that will completely rock his world. Send him a steamy text this afternoon that will have him running for the door when the clock hits quitting time. Make arrangements for the children, plan a surprise, do something out-of-the-0rdinary and have fun!

: Photo Credit: houseofverona.com

Marriage isn't a game of chess - waiting and watching for your opponent to make the next move. No! It's more like a downhill sledding event. You both get on and hang on for the ride of your life!

: Photo Credit: nationallampoon.com

Remember what fueled your passion when you were engaged or newly married? Revisit something from those days - maybe it was an outfit, or a special dinner or wine which will cause you both to reminisce. The important thing is to initiate physical intimacy with your husband. He will respond!

Back when we had beepers, instead of cell phones, I remember coming up with a code. It was a simple code A=1, B=2, C=3, etc. But I didn't tell Tom about it. We have always shortened "I love you" with "ILY." So one morning while Tom was at work I sent a three digit message that said "4-5-9". Of course, when you got a message on your beeper it was a phone number to call asap. There was no way Tom could call this number as it only had three digits. :-) An hour later I sent him the same code. At lunch he called, but he didn't say a word about the strange message he was getting on his beeper.

An hour later I sent it again. And a couple more time before he headed home for the day. By the time he got home, he was obviously perturbed. When I asked what was wrong he said, "Someone keeps calling me on my beeper and leaving only three numbers to call. I don't know who it is, but it's driving me crazy.

After dinner I had made Tom a special dessert with a card. He asked what it was for, and I said, "Oh, no reason..." When he read the card it was signed, 4-5-9, ILY - Debi

This was a little way I added a bit of suspense and excitement to our marriage. You can also hide things under the driver's seat in your husband's car and call them sometime during the day to have them look. It could be anything that would make them think of being with you.

Marriage is meant to be fun and H.O.T. Don't waste these years of raising children and miss the special memories you could make together. Your children may not have any idea what Mommy and Daddy are doing, but they'll definitely benefit from the results.

And hang on for the ride of your life! ♥

What is something you have done to turn up the heat in your marriage?

Pet Peeve Week Celebrated

2011-10-22T00:11:00.000-05:00

According to my wonderful friend Michele at dailybloggingideas.com this week is Pet Peeve Week. Of course I couldn't let this holiday pass the Mom Blog by without making an official observance of it!

In no particular order here are just a few of my pet peeves (from totally minor/laughable ones to those that seriously bother me on a larger level):

By Dave Coverly

* Consistently late people
* Scratchy sheets/blankets
* Dry skin
* Odd numbers
* Crooked vacuum lines
* Hypocrisy
* Complaining
* Negativity/Debbie Downers
* WalMart
* Christmas decorations/music/anything before Halloween and/or Thanksgiving
* Ignorance
* Burnt popcorn
* Cockiness
* Expecting/craving a taste & just missing the mark
* Bad drivers
* Noisy eaters (chewing loudly, slurping, drinking loud...)
* Loud cell phone chatters
* People who ride bikes in the road when there's clearly a sidewalk intended for bikes
* Bad parents
* Creepers at red lights ... the drivers who slowly creep forward & floor it on green.
* Lame online abbreviations/spellings (by lame I mean all)
* Taking scripture out of context
* One sided conversationalists
* Violators/Abusers of the 10 or 15 items or LESS lines
* Movie sequels (with exception to Toy Story)
* Putting salt/sauces/anything on food before trying it
* When the light switches are up (if lights are off the switch needs to be down, if on they need to be up)
* Non RSVPers, cancelers, plan changers ...
* 'Sexualizing' of little girls' clothes ... really string bikinis, booty shorts & cleavage revealing shirts?!
* Finding an empty package or a tiny amount remaining in a package that's put back
* Forgetting things on the grocery list
* Obnoxious sounding laughs
* Pets wearing outfits
* Redundancy
* Walking into spider webs
* Poorly put together websites (shameless plug for an awesome company that builds great sites!)
* Consistently unprepared people

Wasn't that fun?! Check out this site for some more fun with pet peeves! What are some of your pet peeves? Do we share any of the same? Do you think I am a psycho? :)

Past Problems/Gifts from Above

2011-10-21T23:13:00.000-05:00

Random.org decided I'd write on #64 of the List of Life's 100 Most important Choices.

#62 How You Look At Problems In Your Past

I've officially gotten to the point of not being able to remember what life was like with only 3 kids. That doesn't say a whole lot considering I have trouble remembering what I wore yesterday, or ate 2 days ago, and if it weren't for the layer of fur I'd have no clue when I last shaved. Oh what's that?! Yeah, you are right! My children are definitely not my problems of my past! (They are my CURRENT problems ... haha, really just kidding)

Mmmkay, in all seriousness; I've definitely had my fair share and then some of 'past' problems. However, I've had enough instances of seeing how God's hand has worked through (what I thought were) tragic 'problems' to bring about some amazing blessings in my life; that my faith has been & will continue to be strengthened during times of trial. I whole heartedly believe Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Although, we will never truly know God's plan for our life and how each and every moment has been used for His glory until we are in heaven. Being the season of apple picking, pumpkin carving & corn maizes I really appreciated a new explanation of Proverbs 3:5-6 this week. Following Christ, trusting Him with our life, is like having someone above us while we maneuver through the giant corn maize of life. He is directing our path & although we have the choice to take a wrong turn, we can always back track & walk in his direction. Sometimes the path we are asked to take is one of those 90 degree turns that you have no idea what lays ahead of you. Even though the path we are following is going straight, all seems fine & there are no obstacles ahead of us; why wouldn't we trust the person above who can see the entire maize and each and every single obstacle that lay before us.

Sometimes the problems we face are because we didn't trust Christ, made our own choice and have to live with and through the consequences of that decision.

Sometimes we just have no clue on the blessings that we miss out on in life. I wonder what all I have or will miss out on because of a choice I made. Best way to describe this is through a parenting scenario that happens often in our house. Sometimes I have a special surprise for the kids - whether it be a yummy treat or a fun activity. When they are disobedient, making a bad choice; I can no longer follow up with the planned treat or fun reward. It's hard to walk the fine line of holding that blessing over their heads and telling them about what they missed out on in an effort to teach them the importance of obeying just for the sake of obeying. There may not always be a reward for doing right and making the right choice & sometimes I just assume not fill them in on what they missed out on; such is life in the grown up world.

So I do not dwell on the problems of my past, I don't expect to escape problems in the future, but trust that through the worst of what my come the Lord I serve is not surprised and is not wasting a second of my life, even the problems in it. How do you deal with problems in the past?

Of course I couldn't post this post without a link to one of my favorite songs ever

TBT: What Keeps Me Going

2011-10-21T00:25:00.000-05:00

What's my motivation for this awesome accomplishment (so far)?

Shedding the pounds and keeping them off. It's awesome that I am getting down to the last loop on my belt (I've moved 3 holes), my wedding ring is even lose & I can see my collar bone again. It's the little things that keep me going. It's seeing pictures of me even just a month ago and being completely repulsed that I was so irresponsible & lazy that I let myself pack on 60lbs ... the body read out test thing I took said I was 40% fat ... that's 100% disgusting. I am a little sad my favorite maternity yoga pajama pants are getting a little too loose and easily fall off, but not sad enough to put the fat back on my hips to hold them up. It's having energy to get on the floor and wrestle with my boys, roll around with Addy & do an exercising while they nap. It's empowering to cook delicious and healthy food knowing I am eating to live and not living to eat. I am embarrassed to confess that some nights a certain significant other and myself would devour an entire bag of Reeses Peanut butter cups, a bottle of soda or a venti pumpkin spice frap, maybe a bowl of ice cream covered in syrup or caramel, anything & everything that even looked good.

Some nights I'd go to bed and my jaw would be physically sore from chewing so much food through out the day. I had to pull the Tums back out from the medicine cabinet; not for the baby that was pushing my belly out, but the enormous amount of food I was shoveling into my mouth. Whether it was out of boredom, stress, emotions, guilt; I found comfort in the 5 second gratification that food offered. To finally have gotten control over what I put in my body and not feel the crazy cravings/need to eat everything in sight is a great feeling. I am confident I will finish strong.

Breaking the challenge down to a day by day, meal by meal, bite by bite kind of challenge has made all the difference in the world. Eating to live looks a lot different than living to eat. I actually care about the calories & protein and what I am putting in my body & my kids' bodies. I am constantly thinking how can I give myself the best nutrition that tastes great & doesn't totally scrap my hour of completely embarrassing myself as I attempt to do extreme cardio workouts on thegymbox.com. I don't want to turn into a food Nazi or one of those crazy health nuts who can't enjoy a cookie without stressing out how to burn all 700 yummy calories of it away. I do want to live longer, be sick less often, enjoy more quality time with my family, be more active, feel better about myself, shop & try on clothes without the self loathing, & be a good example to my children.

So that's what's keeping me from devouring the gallon of ice cream. What motivates you? Best part about this challenge is that I am only 1/2 way through it and hoping to up that percentage to at least 10 before December 8th!

WBW: Turning DOWN The Heat

2011-10-19T12:01:00.000-05:00

Every Wednesday Debi from the Romantic Vineyard & I tackle some sort of marriage topic in our Wedded Bliss Wednesday series. If you missed any of the previous posts, you can check out Speaking Your Spouses Love Language and 6 Tips to a Better Marriage. Lisa writes in purple & Debi writes in red! We pray you will be encouraged to be the spouse God intended you to be!

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A marriage is a 24/7/365 kind of relationship. Unfortunately, disagreements are inevitable. So here are the ways Debi from Romantic Vineyard & I would encourage you to tackle your disagreements with your spouse.

Photo Credit: ipintegration.com

First of all, the best piece of advice I took away from some much needed marriage counseling about 3 years into my marriage; never ever use the word YOU when in a heated discussion with your spouse. I think of Matthew 7:1-5. We often are quick to point out the faults and planks in our spouse and much slower to accept responsibility of our own shortcomings. Discussing an issue with your spouse will be far less heated if you a) take responsibility for your part of whatever happened or your role in the decision that needs to be made b) you do not put your spouse into defensive mode c) think a little longer/more before speaking.

Having children not only opened a new chapter in my husband's and my life; it also opened a whole new can of worms. Many of our heated discussions have taken, take, and will probably continue to take place over parenting issue. The quicker you come to terms with it being 'ok' that your spouse doesn't parent the same exact way you do, the less heated your discussions will become. It's not as though your 6 month old will turn 16 on his/her next birthday; but the sooner you and your spouse flesh out expectations for various parenting situations (when your child gets a cell phone, when they can date, when they can get their temps, when they can get a car, when they can go on a sleep over...) the better. It's of the utmost importance to form a strong parenting team ready to tackle parenting situations if you don't want your children to come between you & your spouse. It's also extremely important to be proactive on the parenting front, foreseeing possible issues so you can avoid reactive parenting.

: Photo Credit: askville.amazon.com

I am the kind of person who will pick up 1,039 socks off the floor without saying a word, but when I spot the 1040th sock, I flip my lid and it's usually compounded to the 1,039th degree! Although, this is the most difficult challenge in my marriage; I find that discussions are far less heated when I take time and communicate through possible issues before they become an issue. It's also important to go straight to your spouse when you have an issue. I took a Resolving Conflicts class at my church and learned the Biblical approach to resolving conflicts, which was extremely helpful in all areas of life. Matthew 18:15 directs us to confront whoever has offended/sinned against us directly. Going to your mom, dad, best girl friend, random person you meet at a park, your inlaws, anyone other than your spouse; is detrimental to your relationship. Not only do you dishonor your spouse, you taint others' relationship with your spouse. So when you find sock #1, go to your spouse, explain that you would greatly appreciate it if they could place the sock in the proper place because it's important to you and then leave it at that. Don't harp, nag, get emotional, or do anything irrational. Trust that your spouse respects you and what's important to you and leave it at that. Remember to be full of grace, mercy & understanding, too! :)

I want to refer you to a post we wrote a couple of months ago on this very topic. It was from our Proverbs series - chapter 14 to be exact. The most important thing to realize about conflict resolution in marriage is that it is plain hard work. This is the part of our wedding vows where we said "for worse and for poorer." This is where we prove that the promise we made on our wedding day was something we meant, and that it's a promise we have vowed to keep - forever.

To read our part - CLICK HERE!

Stay tuned as next week Debi & I will tackle turning UP the heat, and we are not talking about the discussion kind of heat, either!

Mom Sales

2011-10-16T00:18:00.000-05:00

Random.org decided I'd write on #94 of the List of Life's Most Important Choices tonight.

94 – How much time you take to sell your ideas

Ummm. Not exactly typical Mom Blog style, but I am going to write on each and every number. Also, really? This is supposed to be 1 of life's most important choices? Ok, well, I believe I am pretty convincing when I need to be. Like when it's freezing Wisconsin winter kind of cold & I am standing in the garage letting the kids ride circles around me on their bikes and scooters ... is it terrible if I say, "Oh, no, quick run inside I see a bee coming." Who thought those 9 bee stings this summer were completely worthless? You've never seen a kid move so fast in your life ... just mention the b-e-e word around any of my children (or husband). Or, have you ever tried the $1 fruit parfait from McDonalds? I can get 3 short people to do just about anything under the sun with one of these healthy & delicious treats ~~hanging over their head~~ for a reward. Pick up, pick up, everyone everywhere pick up, pick up ... (I know you mothers just sang that tune) a little sing songy tune and my kids suddenly think picking up is fun. Salesperson is definitely one of the many hats a mother wears. My resume reads, "Specializes in the high stress, fast paced sale of winter jackets, peas, medicine, bread crusts, socks, toy organization, mom approved outfits, clean underwear, any and all things kid refuted." I am all about making these Mom Sales as quick, efficient, tear-less, yell-less, pout-less, blood pressure spiking-less as possible! So I may spend a lot of time planning my sale out and my method of duping my child(ren), however I am a big advocate of first time obedience, so I prefer to take as little time as possible to sell my ideas!

In all seriousness though, I'd hate to reduce my life, my parenting, my blog to a marketing scheme; however if you think about it - we all advertise something. Where/what we spend out time and money on speaks volumes to what we value in life. I'd hope I'd 'sell' a life devoted to following Christ who loves her husband & children above all else in my life. So what does your life sell? What do you spend a majority of your time and money on? What are some funny 'mom sales' you've had to pull?
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I didn't have to do much convincing once Ella & I were out on our Mommy Daughter date today. She wanted to get her hair and nails done, and as soon as we got into the car she told me she wanted to get this done ....

And suddenly my almost 6 year old looks like an almost 16 year old. She is almost as excited as I am to not have to battle the long hair fixing every morning.

TBT: Winning!

2011-10-13T21:14:00.000-05:00

If you are new to the blog or have been following for awhile, Thursdays have been deemed Taking it Back Thursdays. This is the second addition of TBT here at the Mom Blog, read the first post here. I am happy to report I've moved up the ranks of my Biggest Loser Challenge from 3rd place into (drum roll please) 1ST PLACE!

So here are my Top 3 Changes That Work! Once a week I meet with a group of 8 people who are in the 9 week Biggest Loser competition. We each weigh in and then have an hour long class. You think by age 30 I should know the importance of things like water, protein & nutrition. But I don't. So the more I learn and more I implement the more pounds I shed :) So far, 2 weeks into the competition; I am only 1/2 of a pound away from meeting my 9 week goal. Needless to say, I am going to need to meet with my coach & readjust my goal!

#1 - Herbalife Shakes for breakfast and I alternate between having 1 for lunch or dinner. These taste great, are packed full of vitamins and nutrients & keep me full.

#2 - Exercise - I've went from couch potato to being as active as possible. Of course sitting on my couch blogging doesn't help! My goal is to fit 2 45-minute work outs in a day. Jacob bought this awesome Roku box (you should totally get one) and I have been doing dance cardio and extreme cardio work outs from TheGymBox app. Since 4 kids and a husband working a small business makes a consistent gym time nearly impossible, this $10/month app is well worth it. The workouts are fun, definitely not as cheesy as some I've seen & I am sore ... they must be working! The kids and I have gone on many walks ... poor Connor has walked more miles the past few weeks than he has his entire life combined, I'm sure. Even doing the dishes, laundry, feeding a baby - I've googled some easy exercises I can do when it's not really exercise time. Move move move, and move some more!

#3 Educating myself on nutrition. The 1 hour classes really help, and cover all the basic 101 kind of stuff. There's so much I really didn't know - protein, fiber, water, portion control - sad to be 30 and honestly learning some of this stuff for the first time. With Jacob being celiac, we eat rice with our dinner, often. My kind of scoop of rice and the actual serving size (1/4 cup) is off by about 3/4ths or more of a cup!

I can't claim complete ignorance, the serving sizes and nutritional information have been printed on each and every package of each and every food I've ate in the past 30 years. However, I haven't given much of a crap until recently. Some nights Jacob and I would devour an entire back of snack size Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, or a burger & fries, or plates of chips with loads cheese melted on them, or cookies, or any other possible snack we could drum up in the house. Snacking was really taking it's toll on both of us. (PS - Jacob is also doing the Biggest Loser, but he meets on Monday nights in a different group. It was too difficult to line up childcare so we could be in the same group. Anyways, point being is that he is also in 1st place in his group! I think he's ahead of me percentage wise, though. Either way, we are both taking giant leaps towards getting healthy & it feels great!)

I have learned and am mastering the 80/20 rule. Whether that be for a day, a meal, a snack - 80% of what I eat is a healthy choice and I fudge 20%. While in the Biggest Loser I've really minimized that 20% as much as possible, but I don't beat myself up when I enjoy a piece of chocolate or a potato chip or 2. Getting healthy and losing weight is about 90% mental and 10% actual change in behavior. I believe I am worth it. I know I do not need to devour the bag of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, or eat the kids' extra food left on their plates, or graze on food all day long. I eat to live, not live to eat. I've tried things like LA Weightloss and Weight Watchers, and for me those things don't work. I constantly felt like I was working the system, trying to cheat out the system when possible. This new diet is much more than just a diet; it's a new lifestyle.

100 of Life's Most Important Choices

2011-10-13T13:46:00.002-05:00

A fellow Ultimate Blog Challenger posted this very thought provoking post & I am going to use it as my blog meme. Check out her post first for some background info on the list & original author. Learn more about a meme here. Know that I will always link a post back to this main post that has the entire list. Randomly I will post on answers to these questions until I get through the entire list. Whew, 100 posts already planned for ... if you blog, I recommend trying this - it's a great focus and super easy writing prompts!

Stay tuned! Use the Search This Blog feature in the menu on the right of the page and type in - Life's Most Important Choices - to find all the related posts. What do you think of the list?

Your 100 Most Important Choices:

1 – Who you spend most of your time with

2 – How you comb your hair

3 – What your favorite foods are

4 – What you eat most often

5 – How often you call home

6 – The books you read

7 – Your posture

8 – How much or how little you smile

9 – What you watch on television and how much you watch

10 – Your hobbies

11 – How much you exercise

12 – Whether you argue more than you should

13 – The style and color clothes you wear

14 – Who you invite to a party

15 – Whether you write letters

16 – Which telephone calls you return

17 – The appearance of your home

18 – How long something stays broken before you fix it

19 – How late you stay up at night

20 – What time you get up in the morning

21 – How well you listen to others

22 – Whether you smoke

23 – Whether you gossip

24 – How well you are able to concentrate

25 – The political candidates you vote for

26 – Whether you like or fear computers

27 – How fast you drive

28 – How much risk you are willing to take

29 – Whether you save money

30 – Whether you are a leader or a follower

31 – The amount of time you spend with your kids

32 – How organized you are

33 – Whether you go to church

34 – Whether you belong to a social or service organization

35 – How often you change shoes

36 – Who you admire most

37 – How often you are late for something

38 – What you do about a traffic ticket

39 – Who pays the bills in your household

40 – Who decides what to have for dinner

41 – How much time you give yourself to get ready in the morning

42 – What you do at the end of the day

43 – What you drink, if, and how much

44 – Where you buy your groceries, and why

45 – How calm you are

46 – Whose opinions you ask for

47 – How you handle problems at work

48 – Whether you attend concerts or cultural events

49 – How often you eat out

50 – How interested you are in other people

51 – How you show your emotions

52 – What newspapers or magazines you read

53 – Whether you give free advice

54 – What kind of car you drive, and what shape it’s in

55 – How you react to negative attitudes or opinions from others

56 – What sports you participate in

57 – How you spend your holidays

58 – How important it is for you to follow the trend

59 – How much time you spend talking to your spouse or mate

60 – How important you feel you are

61 – How you use credit cards

62 – How you look at problems in the past

63– How you treat or relate to members of the opposite sex

64 – How often you feel sorry for yourself

65 – Who upsets you the most

66 – Whether you like a challenge

67 – Who controls the conversation

68 – How you feel about world problems

69 – What you think about while you’re getting ready in the morning

70 – How much you worry

71 – How much patience you have

72 – How many compliments you give

73 – What gets you angry

74 – How often you almost run out of gas in the car

75 – What you do when you don’t get your way

76 – How much you spend, and on what

77 – How often you criticize

78– How happy you are

79 – How you feel about what other people think of you

80 – How often you do not tell the truth, and why

81 – How you take care of yourself

82 – How much you respect yourself

83 – How often you complain

84 – How often you have to be reminded of something

85 – Who you talk to when you have a problem

86 – How you leave your desk or work space at the end of the day

87 – What movies you attend

88 – How often you get a haircut

89 – How often you have friends visit

90 – How much encouragement you give to others

91 – How polite you are

92 – When you do your Christmas shopping

93 – What you think about, when you have time to think

94 – How much time you take to sell your ideas

95 – Whether you eat breakfast

96 – How you feel when you come home from work

97 – What you do when you’ve made a mistake

98 – What you do when someone else has made a mistake

99 – How you react to being stuck in a traffic jam

100 – What you think about just before you go to sleep at night

Putting Feet to Faith

2011-10-12T14:36:00.000-05:00

A quote a friend shared has really resonated with me the past few days and motivated me to reexamine how I go about my day.

With that in mind, I have started a Blessings Journal. I intend to write a list of the blessings for which I am thankful for at least once a day. As a parent, I want my children to grow up learning to be content with what they have, driven to pursue their dreams & goals to the best of their abilities & most importantly to walk with the Lord. It's easy for me to go to God in times of need, want, or crisis. When something is too big for me to handle on my own I turn it over to God. Likewise, when I take something so much for granted I take credit where I should be giving God the glory. Constantly striving to see God in the 24/7 minute to minute details of life and relaying that to my children will put feet to my faith and lay the ground work for 4 little legs to begin their journey with the Lord.

What have you thanked God for? I mean sincerely thanked Him for. Not one of those, 'thank you Lord for these 4 glorious blessings who require 24/7 care. No. More like, 'Thank you Lord, for these 4 wonderously made-in-your-image little creations who I am privileged to parent. Thank you that I can take a hot shower any time I would like. Thank you that I not only can wipe my child's butt, but I can also flush a toilet. Thank you that I had the ability to provide a breakfast, lunch, dinner & even a few snacks for my children. Thank you for a husband who loves you, loves me, loves our children & works hard to provide for his family. Thank you for schools that teach my children and keep them safe through out the day. Thank you for a church family who walks alongside my family; challenging, supporting, loving us where we are at and constantly pushing us to that next level in our walk with the Lord. Thank you for the unanswered prayers Lord, I trust your timing to be the best. We praise you for the prayers you have answered, even the unspoken ones that sometimes go unnoticed as we go about our day.'

I have a hard time stopping my list and if I didn't have these 4 wonderful blessings who need me I could go on and on. Here's to being more thankful through out the day, without the middle class American blinders on, either. What are you thankful for today? How do you impart a heart of gratitude, humility & contentment to your child(ren)? If you are looking for one of those books you can reread at every stage or parenting and get a new message check out Susie Larson's Growing Grateful Kids. One of my top 5 favorite books of all time! Comment and let's compile a big long Thank You List for all the wonderful blessings we've been given!

WBW: 6 Tips for a Better Marriage

2011-10-12T00:22:00.000-05:00

This is part 2 of the collaborative posts with Debi, from the Romantic Vineyard. The series is called Wedded Bliss Wednesdays. You'll find Lisa's answers in purple and Debi's are in red. This is a great way to help our readers who are engaged or newlyweds, but if you've married for awhile, don't check out now - we think you'll be challenged as well. And we want to hear from you in the comments.

"Oh that'll never be us." Classic dating/engaged/newlywed line usually followed up within 5 years by a "Oh that is us." If I could rewind my relationship with my husband I wouldn't change anything, because I'm sure we wouldn't be where we are now. However, if I would have mastered/adhered to/believed in a few concepts earlier on, I would have saved myself a lot of heartache.

Lisa's Top 3 Pieces of Advice are in Purple & Debi's Top 3 are in Red.

First, I would like to share what our marriage preparation was like back in 1979. We were given the book "Act of Marriage," by Tim and Beverly LaHaye. It was and still is an excellent book. However, I was too embarrassed to read everything in the book. Sad, I know. I was most likely more naive than many women are who get married today, but just in case, I highly recommend face-to-face premarital counseling with another wiser, more seasoned couple. Someone who is familiar with the awkwardness and insecurities of a nineteen year old. If I had had such an opportunity, I might have overcome much of my anxiety about getting married. I was blessed with a husband who not only understood and loved me, but who was willing to walk me through it all.

Jacob & I went through some basic premarital counseling with the Pastor who married us, mostly because it was a prerequisite to getting married. I wish I had invested even half as much time preparing for the actual relationship as I did the flower arrangements, aisle runner, dresses, photographer ... at just nearly 22 and Jacob nearly 20, we were both in college, pretty young & very naive. However, over the years, out of the multitude of marriage help books I've read, I readily gift Paul David Tripp's What Did You Expect as an engagement gift. (Don't let the cruddy cover turn you off from cracking this book open!) Having first read this almost 8 years into my marriage, it made a huge impact. I can only imagine the impact it would make on a newly married couple.

1) The D-Word

Nope, not 'darn' or any vulgar 4 letter variable. D-i-v-o-r-c-e is a word that should never exit your mouth or better yet never, enter your thoughts. Our society has carried the fast food/instant gratification attitude into parts of life that should never have anything instant. I am not advocating you stay in an unhealthy relationship where you are emotionally, mentally or physically being abused for the sake of staying married. I am saying divorce is a big decision. There are legal ramifications and if a child is involved it's even more difficult. I think previous to tying the knot the decision should be made to not even view this as an option. Are there going to be major disagreements? Yes. Is your spouse going to hurt you? Yes, but I am 100% sure if s/he truly does love you, the pain is not intentional. Are you going to hurt your spouse? Yes, & I'd definitely hope you never intend to do so. If your relationship is taking a digger, which they all go through difficult points eventually; don't let your pride get in the way of seeking help. A Christian counselor, a neutral 3rd party mediator, a Pastor, any neutral person who is qualified to provide insight into fixing marital issues.

1) Communication would have to be my first choice. If you can effectively communicate together, then you have mastered THE most important key to a successful marriage. Talking about sex, finances, roles - you name it - is not the easiest thing to do when you are newly married. I remember the first time I went grocery shopping after our wedding - Tom didn't have any spices in the house, so I had to stock up. I think the grand total of the bill was $65! But that was triple what Tom normally spent on groceries. He got angry with me, and what did I do? I told him I would never go grocery shopping without him again. Yeah, I could talk all right, but I certainly wasn't communicating effectively!

2) Boundaries

I am not talking about which side of the bed you sleep on or where his 'side' ends and your 'side' begins in the closet. I am talking about where you will spend your holidays, how much you each divulge to your parents & friends, how involved others are in your life compared to your spouses involvement. As I've found it seems the principle of opposites attracting definitely holds true when it comes to marriages. Spouses come from very different upbringings & although those differences proved to be initial reasons of attractions, they come back to bite you in the butt, so to write/speak. Be open in communicating when you need to spend time with your spouse and when you feel others encroaching on that. Always keep priorities in check: God, spouse, children, self.

2) Honesty - this one goes along with communication, but we learned the hard way that there can be dishonest communication. Not helpful at all for a healthy marriage. And it takes both partners owning up to being honest in everything: your past, present and future. If you struggle with sin, which we all do if we're being honest, then your spouse should know all about it. What are your temptations? When are you most vulnerable to give in to this sin? And how can I help you resist this sin? This should be regular types of communication that goes both ways. For years I was more aware of Tom's proclivity to sin, than my own. Can you guess what the major sin I was dealing with was? Ding - Ding! PRIDE. I heard someone say recently in regards to a conversation between sisters - one was the so-called "bad girl," always getting in trouble with their parents. The other sister was the so-called "good girl," always compliant and never disrespectful to her parents. The "good sister" knew that her sister thought she was perfect. In response she said, "Oh, I'm the biggest sinner for sure! Why? Because you'll never see my sin. I hide it because the sin I deal with is PRIDE. Your sin seems bigger because we all see it, but in reality you're in a better place than I'll ever be, left to myself."

Wow! How I wish I had heard such advice at the beginning of our marriage. Pride has been a lifelong battle for me, but Tom wasn't brought into the war until our 18th year of marriage. How different our early years could have been for Tom and for my children had I been more honest about my heart and my struggle.

3) Expectations

Women are good at these kinds of things. We are inundated with princesses, castles & prince charmings from birth on. So it's only natural we'd think our husbands should be Prince Charming swooping in to rescue us and everything will be coming up buttercups right? Not so much. It's funny how Prince Charming quickly turns into the dirty laundry dropping, white spot mirror splattering, messy cooker/eater, who snores, chews & drinks too loud. Living with someone 24/7, managing finances, managing a house makes many opportunities for disagreements. If you expect your spouse to get clothes in a laundry basket, express that desire in a kind way. "You never get your socks in the basket" is probably not going to get you far in that kind of discussion. The more communicating you do about the expectations you have for your spouse the fewer heated discussions might arise. Remember, a marriage is intended to model Christ's relationship to the church, a very self sacrificing one. Putting your spouses needs above your own is difficult when it gets down to the nitty gritty of life. You both really want to go to an event, but the budget only allows for 1 person to do 1 thing. Who will go? Tough call! But the buck doesn't stop there! Not only are we called to lay down our selfish desires and put our spouse's needs above our own, but we are to do it joyfully. In case you need a reminder joyfully typically doesn't include huffs, puffs, eye rolls, or hands on the hips, toe slapping the ground.

3) Grace. There is a new book out titled, "Give Them Grace," by Elyse Fitzpatrick, that encourages parents to train their children from a foundation of Grace. How I wish my marriage had been built on such a foundation. Instead, in my pride, I was judgmental, critical and often quite justified in my mind about my conclusions. I married a humble man. Tom has displayed grace and mercy to me when I didn't deserve it. How different our early years would have been if my responses to conflict were seasoned with grace, and humility. Yet, God has been faithful to help me in my weakness. He is faithful even when we are not, because He can be no other way.

In conclusion - this post is packed full of 6 powerful challenges for any couple whether you're about to be married or have been for decades. Honestly go over this list with your husband and see what his thoughts are about these areas of your marriage. You may find a fresh appreciation for the completely opposite person you married. Tom is strong in areas I am weak. His strength has helped me grow beyond my own ability. This is part of us becoming one flesh. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - we are much better together than we could have ever been alone!

What advice do you wish you had been given before you said, "I do?" What's your favorite piece of advice you give to newly dating/engaged/married couples?

Winter of 1999

July 12, 2003

Easter 2011 ... a few weeks after the birth of Addison Faith

1st Decisive Favorite

2011-10-10T23:13:00.000-05:00

I really do have a hard time being decisive and funny enough indecisive people are one of my pet peeves. I think in my old age I have arrived at 1 definite favorite. Although, come spring time this might be debatable, but fall is very much my favorite season. The colors are spectacular, although most are fading, falling & crunching on the ground by now in my area. I enjoyed spending a day out and about with the family this past Sunday after church. Have to take advantage of the 75 degree weather here in Wisconsin anytime you can get it, even if it is October. Is it possible I won't need to plan for snow suits underneather costumes this year?

Bren running off exploring ahead of us

The 3 Amigos

Watching this best buddy/brother relationship develop is 1 of my favorite privileges of being mom

Connor plopped right down on the path to scoop up a Henry ... what fuzzy caterpillars are called by the Graf kids

Bren is the caterpillar whisperer! Loves these things!

So fun to scoop & toss leafs up!

The boys running the path ahead

So yes, I am going to be decisive about something I've never been before! Fall is my favorite season! Hope the weather allows us to continue to enjoy the crunchy leaves, the long mornings/afternoons at the park & fun family time recognizing all the beauty in God's creation.

My Kinda Normal

2011-10-09T23:40:00.000-05:00

Reaching out, connecting with & encouraging other moms is a passion of mine. I thought having 4 children would give me a little extra experience to be able to relate to mothers of all different kinds of children. Although all 4 of mine are seemingly strong willed, they each have such unique little personalities that require a unique approach to parenting. Lately, most conversations come to a dull when I chime in that I have 4 short people who call me mother.

Being a mother of 4 doesn't make my struggles any more or any less of what a mother of 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, or 8 struggles with.

Sure, a mother of 1 child wouldn't quite understand why I allow for 1 hour of time to prep kids and transport them all somewhere. And yes, I am very much jealous of a mom who can pick up, pack up, buckle in and get anywhere with all necessary items in any time less than an hour! Moms don't need to necessarily walk in the exact same shoes as other moms to understand the heart aches, sleepless nights, & calloused knees from praying that their child would grow into a well rounded human being who doesn't bite his/her friends, pees & poops in a toilet, doesn't spit, doesn't roll their eyes, or randomly beats on their siblings.

If I could magically wave my 'Lisa-knows-all-and-can-fix-all' wand over the world, I'd create an equal opportunity mom world. A world where we don't judge & make assumptions of each other based on where our children attend school or don't attend for that matter, how many children we have or don't have for that matter, what disabilities or abilities they have, and every other fickle standards we adhere to in our own little world.

There's no 2 moms who are struggling through the exact same situations. However, there are millions of moms across the earth who love their children dearly and want the best for them. Don't think that by me having 4 children discredits any struggles you have with your 1 or 2 children. Likewise, don't think that if I only have 4 children I can't relate to a mom who has 8 children. If a fellow mom is trying to connect with you whether out of sheer desperation to have an adult conversation that goes beyond the "no, out fingers don't belong in our noses" or to encourage you; don't judge and reciprocate the effort.

The first few months it was kinda funny to see peoples' faces when I answered 4 to the 'how many do you have' question. Now, it's just getting old ... yes I have 4 children, yes I realize how much work 4 kids brings, but this is my kinda normal! What's your kinda normal? Let's compare notes. I bet my normal & your normal are a lot alike no matter how many children you have ...

"You are Here"

2011-10-09T00:45:00.000-05:00

So often I wish I had a map of my life and I could easily see the big red "You Are Here" arrow and see how the rest plays out and how things from my past fit into what the future holds.

Actually, I already have the map of how my life is to play out. We are going through the book of Romans in our mini church and just finished chapter 12. How awesome that we've been such a black/white kinda manual for life. We've been told that God's greatest commandment is to love others. Paul lays out what this is to look like in the day to day life ... Romans 12:9-21

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

No this map doesn't say on such and such a date I will be talking with so and so and doing such and such. However, this map provides instructions on just about each and every situation life will bring. Reach out to the needy, practice hospitality, bless don't persecute those who persecute you ... Paul lays out some pretty clear instruction, and although they are very clear they aren't exactly easy to follow.

Which leads me to my next thought being that I have that map available to me anytime I want/need it, do I actually use it like I should? Not to the extent I should be using it. It's kinda like those directions that come with the kids' latest and greatest addition to the toy collection; not until I have exhausted every possible solution to assembling or fixing it do I take a look at the directions. Why is it so easy to pick up my Bible and spend lots of time in prayer when I am in major need of direction, but yet in the day to day I am not as apt at picking it up and applying it to the nitty gritty of life? Each day is a challenge to live more in the "you are here" moment; following that map and looking for direction constantly.

It's not every October that the temperature averages about 75 here in Wisconsin! The kids and I have been spending extra time outside visiting parks and going for long walks. Enjoying the "you are here" lately!

TBT: 180 Kind of Change

2011-10-06T08:06:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had an experience where a light bulb just clicks and the path you had been on takes an entire 180 degree turn around? A few weeks back Jacob & his sister decided to join a Biggest Loser type of competition and I reluctantly joined, mostly as a half hearted, at best, show of support for my husband with very little intentions/expectations of truly competing. I have always been the person who would try on 500 outfits, tug and pull at them in the mirror, get annoyed nothing looked right, throw the jeans & t-shirt back on & then grab a snack & sit in front of the TV feeling gross about myself. I was living out the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

A few weeks prior to this competition starting a friend shared how she regretted having the intentions to get in shape and take care of her body after her children were older & how much easier it is to establish the habit early on. That had been one of my mo's; when the kids are all in school then I'll fit in working out. Who am I kidding? That was just a convenient excuse to continue to be lazy. I am done leaning on the crutches of a low functioning thyroid, of having 4 kids in a little less than 6 years, of stress, of boredom, or of an obvious lack of self control.

After I attended my first class at the Community Weight Center, I felt super crummy about myself but was actually motivated to do more than pay this competition lip service. Not only do I have to pay in money for any weight gained, but I am competing against Jacob for an entire weekend of just me & Addy since she is still somewhat attached.

The whole idea behind this 9 week competition is that participants learn a new way of life, not just a quick fix diet. I am amazed at the things I didn't know! I never paid much attention to portion sizes, calories, or ingredients until Jacob was diagnosed with celiac disease. Over the past few years of going gluten free we have significantly cut out processed foods and I am repulsed at the chemicals and preservatives that I was pumping into my family on a daily basis. But cutting out processed foods hasn't been enough. It's portion control, snacking/grazing & kid clean up habits that I need to fix! How easy is it to scoop a big heap of rice on your plate? I served rice with 1/4 cup (1 serving size of cooked rice) and was shocked at how much smaller that heap should be! As I had to food journal everything I ate for a week I often times thought twice before grabbing that fruit snack, handful of chips, a couple chocolate chips. Nothing pains me too much more than tossing 3/4ths of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich away as children are dying of starvation all over the world each and every day. The problem isn't with finishing the 3/4ths of a sandwich, but the fact that I'd more than likely eat the left overs then after getting the kids moved on from the table I'd fix my own lunch and eat that too.

It's been eye opening to realize that xxx is my highest weight I'll ever be and I will never see those 3 numbers again. Over the next 9 weeks I will eat healthy, stay accountable & hopefully be well on the road to xxx minus 60 pounds. Every Thursday I plan to blog on my weekly progress as an extra means of accountability. Taking Back Thursday begins today! I am Taking Back control. I am Taking Back the power! Just because there's a bag of chips in the cupboard doesn't mean I need to eat the entire bag. Just because I weighed xxx doesn't mean I need to weigh xxx the rest of my life and mope around feeling like a lazy pile. So even though my sad attempt at aerobics in my living room was cause for some pretty hysterical laughing by my 7 month old Addison, I am bound and determined to not only win Biggest Loser title in my group, but to also beat Jacob & Bethany. The short term goals are exciting, fun & motivating, but really I am more excited to be stepping into a new stage in my life. I would like to go clothes shopping and not pull, tug, tuck, shift & justify. I would like to feel comfortable in my own skin and confident that I am taking care of this body that God has gifted me with. I don't want to chase after my children anymore, I want to run with them!

Have you made any 180 kind of changes in your life? Share them! Encourage others who may be struggling with something you have already conquered! Have you experienced an extreme weight loss? What do you enjoy most about the new you?

Here is Week #1 The Classic 'Before' Kinda Picture ... so excited to see a different me soon!

WBW: Are You Talking to Me?

2011-10-05T08:20:00.000-05:00

The latest series at the Mom Blog is Wedded Bliss Wednesday, a post dedicated to encouraging each of you in your marriage. My wonderful friend, Debi, from The Romantic Vineyard has partnered up with me, and we are both going to tackle the same topic in one post with the hope that we speak to those who are early on in their marriage as well as those 'more seasoned' couples. I will write in purple & Debi will write in red. Feel free to comment with topics you'd like us to tackle.

Disclaimer: Adjusting priorities, focus and looking to God's Word will result in dramatic changes for the better in your marriage, Lisa & Debi are not liable, thank the good Lord :)

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Wedded Bliss Wednesday: Are You Talking To Me?

Have you ever just wished your husband would compliment something you've accomplished - like folding/putting away eight loads of laundry all while keeping all four kids alive & fed through out a day? (No worries, Jacob rocks at recognizing me when I manage to accomplish this.) Can't figure out why your husband can't keep his hands off you when all you want is to not be touched after a long day of being touched just about every second of every minute by at least 2 of 8 different hands? I can't take credit for this awesome list, but The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman has really helped me through various stages. There is also a great website devoted to this book that is worth a click over. We will only briefly touch on the languages and our experiences with them. We strongly encourage you to purchase this book and keep it on your reading list. As life changes so does your love language, and Gary Chapman does a wonderful job completely covering each of the languages. If you are not married, please check out the site anyway - you can apply these Love Love Languages to just about any relationship.

I, (Lisa), am guessing I am not the only over touched, over talked to, over everything-ed Mom who struggles with figuring out how to best please her husband or how to best communicate her needs to her husband.

And I, (Debi), am certain we never fully arrive at knowing how to please or talk to our husbands about what we need. But it does get easier. After being married for 32 years, I know what it takes to "make Tom's day." I know how to please him in lots of ways, not just the obvious. But I'm still a sinner who struggles with selfishness and the like. Just because I know how to do something doesn't guarantee I'll do it. So this series of posts are as much for our readers as it is for us. No preaching going on here!

Love Language: Words of Affirmation

Some days my clothes are covered in baby spit up, baby food, big kid food smears, my own food smears, dirt, grass stains, & various other bodily fluids. As much as I try to look half way put together for my hubby, some days it just isn't happening. I am so grateful that even in my frumpiest of post babybirthing days my husband knows how to say just the right thing to lift me up. Words of Affirmation are not necessarily about looks, but maybe about an accomplishment of some sorts. ("Yeah, you managed to shower today!") For someone who struggles between a perfectionist & people pleaser, words of affirmation can build me up like nothing else!

My days are filled with interruptions of all kinds. I used to think this stage of life would be carefree and easy. What was I thinking? I often have days where I don't get one thing accomplished on my to-do list, and I stayed busy all day! Having Tom understand this about me in this season of life as we talk it over builds up my spirit in a way no one else can. He constantly speaks words of affirmation - kind words that build me up. He has become my biggest fan no matter what I am doing - writing, baking, cooking or showing hospitality. There is more time in our season of life to think, but this isn't necessarily a good thing. Thinking too much can lean towards inward focus and thinking about "poor me." It is good to have a partner who is willing to speak the Truth when you're having a hard time hearing it yourself. These words are affirming as well - affirming the TRUTH, not just what I want to hear.

Love Language: Quality Time

You think having 4 children 5 years and younger would completely zap 'quality' & 'time' from my vocabulary. Because this is such a rare commodity in my home, I truly value quality time with my husband (as well as each of my children). I really look forward to our bi-weekly date nights, even if it's just grabbing a quick sub from Jimmy Johns, at least we can sit down together and have uninterrupted conversation, eat food at the intended temperature & even rekindle a bit of romance.

It is important to have quality time regularly while raising your family, so when you reach our age you will still want it. We have witnessed far too many couples who successfully raise their children only to call it quits. How sad. To have shared so much of life together, and then walk away. Quality time for us is all the time now. We value our dinner conversations as well as our date nights. Even though any night of the week could be considered a date night, it is still fun to have one night on the calendar where I know Tom is anticipating it as much as I am. So no matter how hectic the work week becomes, Monday is still MY time with Tom. Our biggest challenge is turning off the cell phone. We used to have children who interrupted every conversation. Now it has become the cell phone. We're never completely unplugged, but something we're working on together.

Love Language: Physical Touch

Yeah, I'm at a loss on this one. I sure hope Debi has some profound thoughts to add! Okay, in all honesty physical touch has been, and probably will always be, the last on my language list - this is like those crazy Chinese symbols kind of language for me. However, it is more than likely to rank up there for your husband. If you want to speak his language and meet his needs sometimes you just bite the bullet and do it. (pun intended) So implement the Nike slogan here and Just Do It!

I was joking with Tom how I think all the love languages pertain to me. <sigh>. I apologized for being such a complicated wife. He smiled. Physical touch for me is different than it is for Tom. He can melt my heart by gently rubbing my feet. I love when he scratches my back or plays with my hair. These are simple ways he has learned to communicate his love for me. Sometimes I make it impossible for him to refuse - touching him the way he likes to be touched. :-) While I agree with Lisa's use of the Nike slogan; (when I was raising small children this was about the only motivation I had too.) But to leave it at that would be sad. Recognizing this isn't your primary love language is fine, being content to stay there isn't. We must strive to "out do one another in showing acts of kindness." This includes touching our spouse, loving on them physically in a way that blesses them. If this completely sounds foreign to you, then I encourage you to ask God to help change your perspective. You may not realize what you're missing, not to mention the love you're communicating to your spouse will help them love you more.

Love Language: Receiving Gifts

Flowers every few days: yes please. A little bling bling here and there: yes please. A spa day: oh sweet Jesus, I am in heaven. Not many people turn down receiving gifts, however; if you were raised staunch German like I was, receiving gifts gets awkward. You don't want to get too excited as that may be seen as selfish & you definitely don't want to completely blow it off as that would be rude. Although, I'm a fan of gifts, I like/need them to be practical. You know you are a mom when a new bottle of Caress Bath Soap totally floats your boat. Jacob has really helped out in doing Target & Woodman runs since the arrival of Addy and that has been a huge burden off my shoulders that I greatly appreciate.

Yes, I love to receive gifts, but I enjoy giving them just as much. I esp. love planning a special date to totally surprise and bless Tom. This is one of the reasons we started The Romantic Vineyard. We realized there are many couples who want to excel in giving to their spouse, but lack the ideas or creativity. Gifts don't have to be a material possession. It can be the receiving end of your gifting. If you're gifted at baking, be sure your spouse enjoys the first fruits of your labor. If you're gifted at planning parties, then your spouse's 35th birthday party should be one to show your love in a creative way. If you're gifted in __________________(you fill in the blank), be sure you're spouse knows it is primarily for them that you do these things, everyone else gets the overflow.

But there is another aspect of this I want to address. As you grow older together and money isn't as much of an issue as it was while raising a family, it is easy to go and buy whatever it is you're wanting. The holidays can come along and it's easy to say, "let's not get each other anything this year." While I understand this thought process, think of the rich part of romance that is being excluded here. No more surprises. No more pretty packaged gifts with your name on it. No more special moments of surprise. Gifts don't have to be expensive or elaborate. Simply thoughtful. If this isn't your love language, don't throw the whole idea out. You'll be missing a key element of romance if you do.

Love Language: Acts of Service

Oh yeah, now you are talking MY language! Running the grocery/Target kind of errands makes my day. Help out with dishes, oh yeah! What's that saying about a man in the kitchen?! Laundry, cleaning, organizing, kid duty ... any little bit of help is so appreciated. I feel stretched so thin sometimes and am extremely thankful my husband really helps out a lot around the house and with typical 'wife' kind of duties. I m sure one day when I can again do grocery and errand runs without 4 little helpers this language might take a back seat, but until then acts of service are what really encourages & uplifts me!

Oh my husband excels in this area. He serves me in so many countless ways because he wants to. He loves me, and this is his gifting. He regularly goes out of his way to do things for me that leave me...spoiled. I have mentioned this to him, when I've struggled with such attention. His answer is, "that's my job!" Not all husbands are like this. Not all wives want them to be. BUT, your husband is exactly who God joined you with as one flesh. Ask God for ways to serve your husband that will bless him. Be sure to check your motives while doing so - to do something for them, hoping - praying - and maybe dreaming he'll get the hint and do the same for you, is only setting yourself up for great disappointment. Let your serving be done without grumbling or complaining. Do it because Christ has served you. Do it because it reflects God's love for you - who came not to be served, but to serve.

So what is your love language? It's typical that our husband's love language is not our 'native' language. Do you have any tips/tricks/advice to make speaking a not very natural language a little easier?

Exercising Muscles of Faith

2011-10-05T00:07:00.000-05:00

Faith is always a concept that has fascinated me. In the past few week I've viewed faith a little differently than I have in the past. Faith is like a muscle; it need constant exercise. I can't go into a gym and expect to bench press 500lbs without having invested significant training time. I also cannot just expect faith to just carry me through the major life events. Only when I make the conscious decision to exercise my faith daily in the little things will it grow stronger. The muscles in my body aren't only designated for specific uses - as in my right arm can only open a glass. My faith isn't only good for losses of loved ones, or major life changes. Faith is for every event, whether that be the next breath I take to my next meal.

Part of Bren's Awana work this last week was to go for a walk and recognize things God had created. Jacob & I have also joined a Biggest Loser type competition, so I have taken every advantage of the gorgeous Wisconsin fall weather to get out and active. In my effort to grow my faith and help my children recognize who their God is and what He does; we went on a God-venture this past Monday. I was reminded how blessed I am. After I dropped Brennan off at preschool; Connor, Addy & I went for a walk around the pond in our neighborhood on this fun trail that goes through a little patch of woods. Then we got back home packed lunches & headed to pick Brennan up. All 4 of us walked the trail between his preschool & a local park and then when we got back to his preschool we walked the trail they have around their building. Connor was one tired little guy! I invite you to come along on our God-venture with us ... (sorry Type As the pictures are again not in order)

Another 'Proof Addy Was Along' Picture

Bren loved running ahead to catch grasshoppers

Taking a little break on a big rock along the path

Brothers and best buddies for life

I love the beautiful fall colors & the boys walking together, God is so good!

Bren called these the 'cow bars' no idea why, but he wanted a picture with the cow bars

Right before realizing I left the strolled un-breaked & it had begun to roll down the hill (with Addy in it)

The boys were pooped, we had been walking almost 1.5 hours by this time, but were talking about how big God's muscles must be that He plopped this rock down right there by the path!

Bren spotted a 'big daddy butterfly'

We enjoyed watching 'big daddy' fly flower to flower

Beautiful canopy of leaves & a bright sun shiny day

I do live in Wisconsin, this must be the Packer patch of woods

Connor finding one of his many special 'erf tings' (earth things, his Puggles verse has been Genesis 1:1)

Going into the woods

Everything is more fun with a stick!

Although the rock looks small this was a proud moment for my little climber who struggled to get his footing on top this little rock

Taking a break

Connor was so tired he told me he was 'seep aking' (sleep walking)

Connor communing with the pavement to get a better look at a caterpillar

Their curiosity, excitement & love for learning is contagious. I want to be able to just flop myself on the ground on the middle of a trail and explore the smaller creations of God's kingdom

The boys spotted mushrooms and of course needed to go explore them!

They found a "Henry" a big fuzzy caterpillar that they needed to plop down and check out

A few geese gathered around some rocks in the middle of a small pond by our house

The trail around Bren's preschool boarders this horse farm and the boys loved the miniatures & big ones

Beautiful fall pond

The more it seems Bren probably has some color blindness, the more I appreciate the distinction of such beautiful fall colors.

Earlier this year I didn't think I had a favorite season, I change my mind. I love fall. I wish it didn't pave the way for the most detested season of all, but the colors, crunching leaves underfoot, brisk air (no humidity), pumpkin & apple scents ... my room in heaven will be perpetually fall

The vivid colors are breathtaking

I absolutely love the wild flowers. Unfortunately the white & yellow daisies kind of blended in with the tall grass, but this has to be my favorite landscape type picture from our walk

Bren really liked these cool trees

Brennan's preschool, the Fox West YMCA

In addition to walking probably a 2 mile trail from preschool to the Lions Park we walked this entire loop around the preschool. The boys were tired.

I encourage you to take a walk around your neighborhood, allow some extra time so you can really see what is around you. God blesses each of us with such an amazing earth that can sustain so many things.

Sometimes in the rush of every day life we become immune to something as simple as a leaf turning color or a caterpillar creeping across the path.

Exploring with kids brings such a new perspective to nature; their excitement over the 1st grasshopper is just as raw & unhindered as it is over the 500th grasshopper. Their gentleness with a caterpillar and hushed voices as we watched the monarch butterfly resonates an appreciation for even the simplest of God's creatures. Recognizing and thanking God for the little things in life is the best preparation and training for recognizing, thanking & having faith in Him for when the bigger things in life happen.

Fire, horns, beat downs OH MY!

2011-10-04T00:00:00.000-05:00

Last week was one of those parenting weeks that hit an ultimate low valley & a high peak! I wanted to make sure my peak experience would withstand the test of time before I shared about it though.

I've blogged, complained, begged for ideas, tips & tricks to make the transition from kindergarten to home a pleasant one. The past few weeks the fire breathing, horn spouting, sibling hating/beating Ella has been difficult to deal with, to say the least. I've tried snacks, organized art/craft, having her help make dinner, special shows/movies, rest time, calling Grandma, and just about anything and everything I could think of that would ease the transition from school to home a smooth one. Some worked longer than others, but they all ended in the same fire breathing, horned, sibling beat down.

Out of mere frustration & annoyance I tossed a, "ELLA ... would you ever talk to Miss Stratton or your friends like you are talking to me & your brothers?" Suddenly the fire breathing ceased, horns disappeared & the friendly, gentle, kind, motherly Ella reappeared. She actually answered my extremely rhetorical question, "No, I'd have to go see my principal or the counselor if I did." Then I jumped onto the opportunity and sat down with her to have a little chat. Why in the world would you talk to your mom & brothers who love you far more than your teacher and friends? She told me she was sad she didn't get to see her teacher or friends after school and is so hungry & tired when she gets done with school. So we laid out a plan for her to have a small snack in the car on the ride home & a quiet time after she gets home to just veg out, rest her eyes or watch a show. Then when she was ready she'd play with her brothers who she actually missed and she could help me with dinner or Addy if she liked.

Amazingly, this has stuck going on 4 consecutive days. The second an eye rolls or a sassy remark escapes her lips I ask her if she'd look at or talk to her teacher and friends that way. I certainly do not miss the horns or fire breathing or beat downs that went down between the hours of 3 & when her father came home. However, I am absolutely positive teachers will no longer hold the same esteemed position in her eyes and her friends will not be too helpful in the parental/sibling love area. We will cross that bridge when we get to it though! For now I am enjoying a peaceful home between the hours of 3 & 5 once again. I really missed my daughter, and figuring out this transition has been one of the greatest parental victories.

Blue Tongue Craziness!

Girly girl loves getting her hair done!

She recently won a coloring contest!

Ella's mad dancing moves!

Finishing her treasure hunt at Kindergarten orientation

Loves working on my laptop & sipping a Starbucks caramel apple cider.

A tired Ella fast asleep in the car

Parenting is quite a process and most of the time our rewards are far and few between. What are some of your victories that have kept you pushing through this parenting journey? How do you manage that transition between school & home?

Throne of Thrones

2011-10-02T22:20:00.000-05:00

What Christ seeking person doesn't desire to hear God speak into his/her life? While reading through Susie Larson’s book Balance that Works When Life Doesn't I so desperately longed to answer the question about where I find God speaking to me the most often in my life. It definitely isn't during my devotions really; as a mom of 4 my devotions aren’t the ideal lengthy study period & usually shared with 3 or 4 little ones. It definitely wasn’t during prayer time as I’m busy modeling and reminding children to concentrate on talking to God, not picking their nose or sneaking bites of food. It wasn’t while I did the laundry, showered or cooked like some of my friends. I put this burning question on the back burner and continued the motherly and house wife duties that 4 kids and a husband all brings. Then as I was rereading 2 chapters for the Growing Grateful Kids study; it hit me. God most definitely speaks to me and it is definitely in the most strange of places that I am a little embarrassed to share.

Before I tell you where this goes down (no pun intended), let me tell you about a day this past week that I had. My 6 month old Addy's battle with eczema culminated. The rash turned into painful open sores on the backs of her legs that were bothering her so much she would only sleep 10-15 minutes at a time. My 2.5 year old thinks time outs are fun because ‘big boys gets time outs’ and he is going through a spitting/tongue sticking out stage that required frequent punishment & consequences that particular day. As much as I wanted to ignore the repeated splatters of spit on everyone and thing, I had to stick to my guns and follow through on consequences, which is extremely difficult when you have 2 or 3 other needy kids around. The day continued to be dismal at best as the kindergarten transition is proving to be a trying one. It really isn’t the transition into school that’s tough, it’s the transition from school to home that is the major challenge. Add a 4 year old who thrives on 1 on 1 time and is in serious need for some 1 on 1 time and I was about ready to pull my hair out. I was throwing out empty meaningless threats at my kids. I was doing exactly what Susie warns against in Growing Grateful Kids, “When we lay down the rules and then change them because they are not convenient to enforce at the moment, we confuse our children and diminish our own credibility.” I was tired of constantly giving of myself. Constantly correcting behavior. Constantly reinforcing what little (if any) positive behavior. I was tired of being inconvenienced by my own children & letting Connor spit everywhere, letting Ella be disrespectful & sassy, and cuddling up with Addy & Brennan sounded great to me! I kept on keeping on though.

My husband got home, we ate dinner, I cleared the table, grabbed my Growing Grateful Kids book and snuck off into the bathroom. I covet that time when I can lock my bedroom door along with locking the bathroom door for an extra measure of security from short people. Even if I don’t use the bathroom for what it is intended to be used for, I really enjoy that time. I especially enjoy the whineless hum of the fan. While I was sitting on my porcelain throne a message from the throne above hit me! My ultimate goal as a parent is to model and teach my children how to behave out of a loving heart, devoted to Christ; not to behave in fear of threatened punishment or consequences. I still needed to follow through on punishment and consequences, however I need to dig into the root of the kids’ behavior & nip it. Before I can successfully do that as a parent I needed to examine my own behavior. That day I really failed in modeling Fruits of the Spirit and being the mom God wants me to be. There’s nothing more humbling than apologizing to my 5, 4 & 2 year olds. There’s also no purer form of love and forgiveness than seen through the eyes of a child, either. They are quick to hug and love on you. Add child like forgiveness to my list of childlike traits I'd like to have.

I’d like to encourage you to strive to model Christ like behavior; but we are just moms, we’re not super human nor perfect. When you have one of those days where you drop the parenting ball, be quick to apologize, ask for forgiveness & pick yourself up. Strive to model Christ like behavior for your children. Also take time to seek out God’s voice in your life, even if that takes place in your bathroom.

Where do you hear God speaking into your life? Do you seek Him out? Share some tips and tricks of how you've made this happen in your life. Any great lessons your kids have taught you?

Blessing in Disguise Day

2011-10-01T22:53:00.000-05:00

Today was/is National Make a Mistake Day, as well as the 1st day of a 31 day blog challenge.

Last year at this very time I sat blubbering in 1/2 unpacked house, wondering how in the world I'd function as a mother of 4 children 5 years and younger. I was beside myself in worries and fears, knowing 3 children were a lot of work. I was completely unable to comprehend what adding a sleepless, crying, helpless baby would do to my sanity. I retraced the months before wondering if I had missed a pill or what went wrong. I couldn't imagine why God was punishing me or why in the world this was the best plan for my life. Although I've walked through unplanned pregnancies with family & friends, I never truly felt the guilt, anxiety, fear, shame, anger, bitterness & the whole gamut of emotions one goes through. I feel guilty for even writing that though, as I was married with a husband who didn't seem nearly 1/2 as phased as I was about this whole 4th addition. Every day my growing belly, the aches and pains that come with pregnancy & strangers' extremely rude gawking & comments about my protruding belly in addition to the other 3 children they seen in a grocery cart or holding my hand helped inflame the worst of my worries & fears.

It's amazing that what I thought would ruin me has been 1 of the best blessings in my life. Addison Faith has taught me so much in her short 7 months here in our family. Her pregnancy wasn't anymore miserable than the rest of them, although I threw up the least amount of times with her; I had far more hip & back problems. Her pregnancy allowed me to share one of the most precious daughter/mother experiences ever, though, so I really can't complain. My Addy Paddy has taught me to give up all efforts to control things that are clearly (and even not so clearly) out of my hands. (Although, despite this extremely loud & clear message, I still battle this day in and day out) Addy was the first baby who came all on her own without medical encouragement. I will never forget being up in front of Moms & More group at church feeling my water slowly break as i was only a few sentences into what I was sharing. In those next few hours the reality of what was to come really hit me. I'm 100% sure, I've never been more scared in my life, although I had already birthed 3 babies before they had each been a very controlled birth with the same doctor in the same hospital with the same procedure. Addison defied medical reasoning being born without any abnormalities despite the many vaccinations I received as well as having had a few questionable fetal heartbeat monitoring sessions. Addy has brought an incredible joy into our family. It's difficult to look at her without cracking a grin. Although, Connor is definitely the family ham, Addison is a very happy, easy going, always smiling kind of baby. I can finally say I've gotten to the point where I don't remember what life with just 3 was like.

Addison is clearly not a mistake & most definitely one the absolute best 'blessing in disguise's. She goes to prove that no matter how big of a mistake you think you've made or how bad you foresee life turning as a result of a mistake; God can work an amazing miracle out of the most incomprehensible events. Maybe National Make a Mistake Day should be National Blessing in Disguise Day! Have you had any of these blessings in disguises happen to you?

Here are ~~just a few~~ of my most favorite pictures of my sweet blessing Addison Faith from the past almost 7 months. They are not in chronological order ... sorry for all my fellow organizational type a friends, I tried twice and this is what it'll be at 10:50pm!

Mom is the Word

2011-09-29T00:20:00.000-05:00

Ever since the annual dictionary revision thing hit the news a few weeks (maybe months, as a mom of 4, my sense of time has become completely arbitrary) ago I've been thinking of our every day lingo.

Five - ten years ago would you have ever used phrases like:

"That hair has to be photoshopped!"
"Just Google it."
Tweeted/Twittered/Twitted/Facebooked ...
"Text me."

In the throe of parenting 4 children 5 years and younger I am constantly reinforcing behaviors I want to become habits. Galatians 5:22-26 is constantly at the forefront of my mind. Mostly, as a reminder to model love & patience to my children, to take joy in them, to keep the peace by all means necessary, to gently shake the living day lights out of them when for the 569th time in the past hour I need to remind them to be kind, not spit, stop rolling eyes, not to be sassy ... kidding it's really more like 896 ... ok really, totally kidding on the gently shaking the living day lights. (side note: 4 kids has put me on the fast track to understanding why some species eat their young...)

How awesome will it be to ask my children 10-15 years down the road what word(s) they'd use to describe me? To embody kindness, love, gentleness, self control, peace now that would be 'making it' in my book. Cruel, cold hearted, distant, unloving, unorganized, frazzled, stressed, disappointment, hypocrite, rude ... those would crush me.

I want to know what word would you be most honored to embody? What word would be the biggest slam? Comment ... discuss ...

Whole Roll Kind of Generosity

2011-09-21T23:15:00.000-05:00

I should have known by the start of my morning that I'd have quite the memorable day! I was in the Starbucks drive through ordering some much needed liquid motivation to reclaim my house that had been lost to a few busy days, when a friend called. I was excited to meet her at my house with a hot delicious pumpkin spice latte waiting for her. Little did I know she was just a few cars behind me thinking the same thing. It's nearly 8pm and I am still sipping on the a cold latte, which is actually really yummy!

Con-no is the kind of kid who grabs a toy first thing in the morning and I have to pry it out of his hands to tuck him into bed. Today's toy of choice was this friendly little lizard.Although by the picture it's hard to tell, but this rubbery lizard is filled with small beads that make him pretty pliable. On the car ride to Brennan's preschool Connor started squeezing the lizard and saying "peanuts". You can imagine the redness that swept over my face as he loudly and very clearly announced, "My izart have small penis" in front of an entire lobby full of parents and YMCA patrons. It was hilarious and my little ham lapped up the attention, despite not having a clue why people were laughing and asking what his lizard had! Of course, I translated and assured people he was really pointing out that the lizard had small peanuts inside of him. I thought having 2 kids in school would be a sweet time with just my 2 little ones and much less work. I was sorely mistaken on the less work assumption for numerous reasons. Today's reason was frustrating and forgive me for drawing out this metaphor, but I'm sure you'll find as much humor in the way God sometimes speaks to us as I did today.

Mommy bathroom breaks are infrequent, rushed & rarely private. I managed to escape long enough only to discover an empty toilet paper roll. Have you tried to verbally walk a 2.5 year old through any sort of task, let alone 1 s/he has ever attempted before without your help? If you haven't I'd equate it to trying to cook a meal blindfolded with your hands tied behind your back & no utensils. Yeah, not very easy. Finally, after about 3 minutes of frantic praying, encouraging kind words masking the frustrated annoyed PG-13 kind of word under my breath, reminding Connor to leave the bins of vitamins, lotions, candles, random stuff in the closet alone & bring mommy a roll of toilet paper; he toddled into the bathroom with 1 SQUARE of toilet paper. I reluctantly sent him back to bring the whole thing. Again, after an extended journey, he greeted me with 1 square. Finally, a few tries later I sent him back thinking nothing else then Lord please let 5 squares suffice. (TMI, I know). I gave up, I didn't beg and plead with him, I didn't yell, I didn't say anything ... just waited. He peeked around the door and started chanting "whole fing"! Oh sweet, Connor I've never been more relieved in my life. (No worries, no pictures with this little story, well maybe just one because this will give you a little glimpse into life with Con-no ... rarely a half hour passes without some serious laughs!)

How often do we get marching orders from God, go off on our journey & bring Him 1 square's worth of what he wants?

How often do I selfishly hoard blessings I've been given & through tight fists and whitening knuckles do I bitterly let the tiniest of a portion of my blessing go?

Given another chance, even after being redirected I continue to bring God 1 square's worth of effort. God promises so many times that if we give generously, we will be blessed. (Deuteronomy 15:10, Psalm 112:5, Proverbs 11:25, 2nd Corinthians 9:6)

But you say you aren't blessed and you have to hang on tight fisted to what you have. First of all, I'd encourage you to spend some time in 2nd Corinthians 9. Memorize 2nd Corinthians 9:11, "You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God." Memorize it, believe it, live it.

Bring your whole roll to God! Stop withholding, stop trying to micromanage God, stop trying to figure out the next step, stop manipulating God's orders to be cozy comfy easy tasks that fit into your plan ... step it up, be generous, have a joyful heart & bring God that whole roll! You will be blessed!
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ps ... why is it that so many of my more profound thoughts revolve around TP rolls?!
pss ... this whole giving generously is definitely a work in progress in my own life.

To Be Cheered For & To Cheer On

2011-09-20T00:21:00.000-05:00

Fantasy Football is probably foreign territory for most moms out there. What you know of it, you probably despise because it turns your husband into a raving lunatic with schizophrenic tendencies when his players are playing against his favorite team. The Graf House is a little backward when it's come to sports. I'm the raving schizophrenic lunatic cheering for my players, even when they are playing my beloved Steelers or Packers. Yes, I am a Packer fan my default being a 'Sconnie Girl, but really the Steelers are my favorite all time team!

As I multi-tasked my day away today I got to thinking about our ultimate cheerleader. Can you imagine how God feels and what he thinks as He watches our life unfold? He cheers us on as we are living out His will. Even when we stray He is still working His magic to ensure our paths, wherever they lead, will ultimately lead back to His will for us & into eternal life. (Romans 8:28) Have you ever stopped to really think about what that means for those of you who believe? Of course we should strive to be living in God's will, but we are human. Even in the worst mistakes/decisions I've made, God has still used that to His glory.

The title 'Mom' carries with it many many subtitles & job responsibilities. Cheerleader, no matter if you loved or hated them in high school, has got to be one of your top responsibilities when it comes to raising well grounded, self confident children. Of course, we want them to be reliant on the Lord in everything, but confidence is a very important character trait to ensure success in the adult world. We can't mess this one up, parents! When we drop the ball, constantly put them down, never acknowledge their accomplishments as being good enough; we set them up to have low self esteem, to be overly critical of themselves & probably over achievers as they try to do everything & anything to earn a 'job well done' pat on the back from you. At the same time, over glorifying them also sets them up for adult world kind of issues. No one likes an over confident, cocky, obnoxiously proud grown up ... same rings true for kids. First step is to get cheering you kiddo on! Celebrate their accomplishments and encourage them onto the next step.

Next step, is to be discerning as your child's cheerleader. It's important to be constantly examining where your child is at and then be intentional on providing him/her with opportunities to grow and advance into that next stage. You don't want to do it for them, or make it extremely easy, but you also don't want to make it an impossible challenge. With very independent children, this is often times the most difficult challenge for this mom. I have a perfectionist daughter who is easily defeated if she doesn't master a concept quickly. I also have an all or nothing kind of son who loses concentration faster than a mom kind of bathroom 'break'. I don't have any magic tricks really except to be constantly plugged into my kids. Constantly examining their little minds & hearts and cheering them on to the next step.

One day it'll be difficult to let go, stop examining and pushing them to the next step & let them take those big steps all on their own. Do you find being your child's cheerleader easy? How has your parents' parenting affected the way you cheer for your children? Do you know the ultimate cheerleader? (as a sports lover, I feel like I need to apologize to God for calling him a cheerleader ... sorry ... maybe Coach or General Manager would be more appropriate?!) Can you see decisions/choices you made that were not of God's will, but yet he used it to bring Him glory?

Hope it doesn't get to the point of Jacob checking me into one of these groups, but I do love some great fantasy football ... even if my team royally bites the dust (as they do this season)!

Fall Weekend Adventure

2011-09-18T22:03:00.000-05:00

My little sunflowers: Brennan, Ella, Connor & Jacob

I wonder if the millions of farmers 50 or 60 years ago would have ever thought in a million years that there would come a day when a family would pay to come feed & pet a few goats, climb & play on some hay bales, ride some big trikes around, pick a peck of apples, take a hay ride & eat a few freshly made caramel apples. Makes me wonder what people will be paying to do 50 or 60 years from now!

We enjoyed a very scenic ride to The Little Farmer and spent the day hanging out on a hobby farm/apple orchard/pumpkin patch. I can't believe that was the first time we had visited, definitely will not be the last.

Lake Winnebago was in the distance for most of the ride there.

2 Pumpkin Spices for the road and kids who fell asleep fast ... perfect parental road trip

Lots of windmills and almost perfect Wisconsin weather - 70s, sunny, no humidity, slight breeze.

Here is part of the view into the apple orchard

There was lots of fun and free stuff for the kids to do. A fun race track was set up for oversized tricycles looped about a bunch of unique playground kind of activities.

Jacob was pretty bummed you had to be 4" or less to go on this fun corn stalk tunneled slide

Bren scaled this many many times

Connor only braved the corn slide once.

Ella had fun going down a few times, too.

Tires & hay bales provided lots of fun and great picture opps.

Hard to believe my Brennan turns 4 on the 19th ... those were some quick flying 4 years!

We were nearing the end of our trip and it was getting tough to look at mom's camera

Connor & Mina enjoyed standing on the top of the tire mountain, quite the climb for little legs.

These tire horse swings are ingenious! Kids loved them!

Jacob & the kids also stormed the really high hay bale pyramid thingy to get a few fun pictures. Connor had hay in every crevice after this fun adventurous climb; even in his diaper!

Jacob & the kids picked a peck of apples for an unbelievable price of $8.75, needless to say we will go elsewhere to actually pick apples. Addy was starving so we camped out in the van while they went on the free hay ride to the orchard. Speaking of which, here's the one and only picture of Addy Paddy, just to prove she was indeed with us.

So blessed to have such an easy going baby who doesn't mind strollering for a few hours

We avoided the 20 minute $3.75/person hay ride by taking the free hay ride to pick out very expensive bag of apples.

Of course, like any other touristy place, there were lots of plywood cut out things for cute pictures.

We each enjoyed a delicious caramel apple after all of our fun. It was hand dipped and we got to choose what kind of topping we wanted. Since caramel apples are one of my most favorite treats, I was too busy enjoying my peanut covered caramel apple to get pictures. Which is really a bummer as the caramel, chocolate covered sunflower seed encrusted faces were pretty priceless.

Each of the kids got a chance to feed the goats. Ella was the only one (other than Addy, obviously) who decided not to. So mom & dad had fun feeding the goats left over feed. The Little Farmer goats have to be the most well fed goats around!

These are the kind of trips memories are made of. I am excited to start our own little traditions and although extremely expensive, we enjoyed the Little Farmer so much, it will definitely become an annual trip for us. I am so blessed to have 4 very unique children and a husband who is able to and enjoys spending time with the kids & I.

The kids enjoyed the day as much as we did ... and Jacob & I enjoyed a very quiet ride home.

Feature Friday: SPA

2011-09-16T23:56:00.000-05:00

I bet that 3 letter word snagged each and every one of my young mom friends. Young as in we have young kids who sap the ~~life~~ youth from each and every little part of our body ... kinda like little parasites, who we love so very much.

I am so excited to share with you all a guest post from a new friend I've met through a blog challenge I took part in. Her and her husband are behind an awesome online ministry called The Romantic Vineyard. It is one of my new favorite blogs to follow and always over flowing with helpful information, godly encouragement & wise biblical marital advice. In looking through the bio page, I struggled to come up with much of anything better than their own words! Visit their site whether you are single, engaged or married - there is something great for everyone, I promise!

What comes to mind when you think of a day at the spa? Soft music, healthy drinks and snacks, candle light, body treatments to soothe your body? Yes, yes and YES! A spa is THE place to go if one wants to relax and unwind.

Tom and I have been married for 32 and 1/2 years. In this time we raised three children who are all two years apart. We thought this would be great for our kids - to be close in age enabling them to share all of their life experiences and friendships together. What we didnʼt think about was all the major adjustments for us as their parents having to go through each stage simultaneously.

We changed diapers for 6 - 7 years straight! We home-schooled our children, which meant we were teaching reading, writing and arithmetic all at the same time. We taught our teenagers how to drive one after the other for 6 straight years, and worst of all was paying for the car insurance for all of them at the same time! Yes, life was busy, hectic and lived to the fullest. We attended soccer practices, ballet recitals, basketball games - galore. There were band performances and even a Broadway production of Joseph,

and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat that our two oldest children took part in. The memories are fond now, but after spending a week watching our two granddaughters (age 2 and 4), I am freshly reminded of how exhausting it is to raise a family.

When Lisa asked me to offer a guest post for the Mom Blog, I was honored. I took time to pray about what I could share that would be helpful to momʼs of children at home. How can romance be cultivated in the midst of such chaos? Itʼs possible, I know, because my husband made it a priority in our marriage. His initiation was never optional. From the moment our ﬁrst child was born, he made it clear that our

relationship would always be primary. Now as we are entering the “Open Nest” season of our lives, I am beyond grateful for his wise leadership in this area. We are reaping the fruit of seeds heʼs sown in our relationship for 32 years, and it is good! :-)

The point I would like to share is simply an acrostic for the word S.P.A. I believe if momʼs would take the time to implement these three things, then romance would be sown in their marriage on a consistent basis. Momʼs are usually good at multi-tasking. They have to be. So I believe it wonʼt be difﬁcult to do these three things:

S = Space. We did a contest on The Romantic Vineyard called “Romanticize Your Master Bedroom.” It was an encouragement to make your master bedroom your place alone. No reminders of work, family or extended family is allowed in your “Space.” The only pictures hanging should be of places you want to go or of the two of you in places where youʼve been. It should be full of all the things the two of you enjoy doing together. T.V.ʼs are not the best to have in the bedroom, but I understand those who do

- we do, as a matter of fact. But you have to know when to turn it off. There should also be no clutter in this room. Clutter has been proven to be a major turn off for romance - so get rid of it! If you would like to read more on making your space the best it can be you can ﬁnd it by clicking HERE.

P = Privacy. There is nothing more important to the cultivation of romance than privacy. If there is any chance a crying toddler will come roaming into your room it will be difﬁcult for most moms to relax. So use the locks on the door. Our children knew to knock before coming into our bedroom, and we encourage you to keep the door closed and locked as well. This isnʼt wrong - it is necessary, if you are to maintain romance while raising a family.

A = Availability. Being parents is one of the most exhausting seasons of life. Yet Godʼs grace is available to help you in your weakness. Your spouse needs to know you are available to them whenever the moment presents itself. There will be times when you really donʼt feel like it, and it is in times like these when God will help you be there for your husband. Think of it - your husband has no one else with whom to share physical intimacy. You are the one he chose to share this very personal and intimate

relationship. It is a privilege and can be the one thing you enjoy together without the kids. Make the most of it! If the ﬁrst two steps are taken care of - we are quite certain you will make yourself more available. It is a win win situation.

So why not spend the next few weeks ﬁxing up and romanticizing your space? Then, work on guaranteeing your privacy by making the necessary changes. The availability will naturally follow providing you both with the best kind of SPA experience - The Marriage Spa.
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Thank you Debi ... I should really go clear out the 5 mounded clean laundry baskets and stacks of books on my to read list, and that dirty mounded basket too! Thanks for the little redirection that I'm sure many of us young mothers need!

Throw Me A Refill Ring Please

2011-09-15T23:28:00.000-05:00

Planning, organizing & logistics are my thing. I don't think they have always been ... I'm sure my mom would attest to the fact my room was far from organized, few things I did were well planned out or made logistical sense.

My entire life now revolves around planning, organizing & logistics. A few things I did today had me stopping and thinking about the big picture.

I clip about 70 little nails about once a week. Technically, 60 as Jacob handles Ella's toes. She is overly sensitive & one time of clipping one nail to short permanently cost me the job. If you're wondering, yes each of my children have 10 fingers and 10 toes. I come up 10 short because Ella saves me the hassle of clipping her fingernails as she chews them til they bleed practically.
I wipe various rear ends approximately 10-15 times a day, none of those rears are even my own.
For just 1 meal we use: 5 plates, 5 forks, 5 spoons, 2 knives, 5 cups, a serving utensil, a serving plate/bowl, a stone or pot or pan, and now a baby spoon and a small dish and a bottle. Now multiply that by 3 and add a bowl/plate for a healthy after school snack = mounds of dirty dishes or at least 2 runs of the dishwasher each day.
1 days worth of laundry typically consists of: 3 - 5 adult shirts, depending on how many times I am barfed on, 2 adult pants, 4 kids' shirts, 4 kids' pants/shorts, 2 pajama sleepers, 2 bed t-shirts, 4 pairs of socks, 6 pairs of underwear, at least 3 towels sometimes 5 or 6, 3-5 burp rags, 3 bibs, 5 wash cloths, 2 hand towels, 2 kitchen towels, 1 kitchen washcloth and if extra bodily fluids are dispersed improperly add a few extra pieces.
I wash 4 kids' hair and bodies at least once a day - girls usually in the morning, boys usually at night. I also usually remember to wash myself once, sometimes like today I need two showers after getting my head barfed on by a baby who was tickled a little too much a little too soon after eating.

Then there are tasks that used to take me a long time, or some I never imagined I'd do.

I have mastered peeling and coring an apple and do so 3 times a day in about 1-3 minutes, depending on how often the kids disturb me. I remember watching my grandma peel and core apples for pies wondering how she whipped through them so fast ... she had 4 children in 8 years - now I know :)
I have mastered making my favorite meal in under 10 minutes. I butter & grill 8 grilled cheese sandwiches & heat up tomato soup like a pro. Lunch time transforms my sweet, polite children into ravenous, possibly cannibalistic little fire breathing beasts. Must be quick with the PB&J or grilled cheese to survive unscathed!
How about compiling a grocery list or Target list. Not a fan of lists, but there's no humanly possible way I can remember all the supplies or food I need to even survive a week!
It's emotionally and mentally draining to have a child in just about every stage of life between newborn and kindergartner. It's tough not to expect the same level of behavior from our toddling 2 year old as I do from our talking, reading & writing almost 6 year old. Growing up all I wanted was to be treated fair. Now that I am grown up I see that being treated fairly/equally is about the most harmful thing a parent can do to their child. I am constantly assessing my children. Where are they at in terms of behavior, social adjustment, educational steps? Where are they struggling? How can I encourage and challenge them to move forward? It's a constant process that takes years to see results.

It's easy to get bogged down and overwhelmed by all of the logistical, planning & organizational aspects of running a home with 4 children underfoot. I obviously knew I had 4 children since Addy was born. However, after spending a day looking at our family pictures I didn't entirely realize how many 4 children are. I am so thankful that having 4 children looks far more overwhelming than what the reality of having 4 children really entails. I'm beginning year 6 of having 2 children in diapers, only about 2 years of those have only involved diapering and wiping 1 butt. My husband & I are attempting to set up scheduled Amazon prime deliveries to save a little more money. I never really sat down and itemized all of the things that we go through in this house. It's crazy how many diapers, how much hand soap, how many rolls of toilet paper, how many paper plates, how many wipes we go through just on a weekly basis.

Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning in poopy diapers and am grappling for the Diaper Genie refill ring to pull me out of this sleepless stupor.

This week I have come to see how far I've let myself slide. How I've let my marriage slip to the backseat to my parenting responsibilities. How out of shape I am and the fact I don't care enough to even schedule time to exercise. How I don't remember the last time I got out of the house and just did something for myself - sure I attend meetings, go to meet ups, play dates, Bible Study groups - but even really trying to think, I can't remember just taking me time. Which I guess isn't entirely fair as I choose to spend my 'me time' doing those meetings, dates & studies. How taking care of my children, my husband & my house have taken priority over myself. My balance is off. I am so thankful God has tossed me a few of those refill rings this week! I am reading through Balance That Works for a second time, I sat through a Moms & More special on this very topic Tuesday, & then a wonderful new friend I met through a blog challenge just sent me her guest post for Feature Friday tomorrow. You will have to check back tomorrow night to read it, but it was so impacting I had to grab the Kleenex box.